Goodell Decides on the Saints' Appeals

Commissioner Roger Goodell upholds the suspensions handed to the New Orleans Saints.

The former New Orleans defensive coordinator at the center of the bounties case, Gregg Williams, was suspended indefinitely and did not appeal. Williams was hired by the St. Louis Rams on Jan. 23 as their defensive coordinator.

 What these pathetic journalists and most of the NFL are ignoring is that EVERYONE knew about this, from the owner to the head coach. Williams will be the scapegoat; probably banned from the league, but whatever judgement is handed to him should be handed all across the board from the front offices to the coaching staff - maybe even some players...but that wouldn't be good for business, so just pick one guy and let him take the fall. 


Laters, Williams. Brush up that resume' for the college ranks, or maybe even high school.

Inkubus - Movie Review

Every one-hundred years, the demon known as Inkubus (Robert Englund) is reborn and just before he transfers into his new host this current incarnation walks into a police station, confessing to murders ranging from the Middle Ages to the most recent decapitation of a young woman whose head he still possesses because he has unfinished business with the one police officer that nearly incarcerated him thirteen years ago. 

Like the majority of horror movies, there was a lot going against Inkubus with it’s low production values (it’s not pretty to look at) and what most people would consider terrible acting (like these whiney skanks could do any better), but despite some arguably profound flaws I still enjoyed the movie. Maybe it’s the respect I have for Robert Englund (who owns this movie); plus, William Forsythe (The Devil’s Rejects) also takes top acting honors for this one. Maybe it was getting a kick out of seeing Jonathan Silverman (Weekend at Bernie’s) trying to act like a tough guy, or just trying to take Joey Fatone (N Sync) seriously – regardless, I enjoyed this movie. It was a familiar concept concocted by the pair of director Glenn Ciano and writer Carl V. Dupre, but for what money they had I think they made an adequate accomplishment. 

The story isn’t difficult to follow, but there are some aspects of it that perhaps could have been translated better through the screen, and without spoiling anything the ending is anticlimactic. The kills are standard while the aesthetic value of the gore is above par making for some pleasantly horrendous visuals to be remembered. 

Movie snobs will crap all over this movie while other people simply won’t like it, but like all opinions (including my own), they’re like assholes; we all clinch out fear of being anally raped – or, we all have one – something like that. 

Despite the flaws that could only be solved by money, which this movie did not have, and some storytelling foibles, Inkubus helps Robert Englund further shed the nostalgic cloak of Freddy Kreuger (a character he still loves), allowing the audience to focus on the man behind the scar tissue and provide some blood curdling entertainment for some horror lovers. 

Strigoi - Movie Review

The villagers of a small Romanian village murder Constantin Tirescu and his wife. They feel the murders are justified, former medical student Vlad believes it was cold blooded murder. Now, he is trying to prove it. The only problem – how can Vlad solve a murder when the victims are walking around with insatiable appetites while a mysterious virus brought on by the strigoi spreads amongst the townspeople? 

The word “strigoi” is a Romanian term for a trouble soul that has risen from the grave, be they vampires or zombies. They can even be fully alive but with supernatural capabilities. The movie Strigoi serves as a platform, elaborating on what a strigoi actually is and focuses on the generation gap in the practice of the traditional rituals following someone’s death and the lack of respect for these conventions by the newer generations while telling a murder mystery. 

The movie Strigoi is an interesting concept undertaken by writer/director Faye Jackson who does a good job of detailing the myths and folklore behind the creatures. However, the pace of the movie rivals that of a crippled slug traveling in a snowstorm due to the dark, dry humor incorporated into the film. It was practically a chore to finish the whole movie. I did like it for the most part; I tend to like dry wit and there are some fun characters, like Vlad’s grandfather who may or may not be sucking Vlad’s blood in his sleep. There is implied violence amongst the scenery and background noises but no actual gore.  

I can’t say I’d recommend Strigoi as first-choice-viewing. It is definitely not a generally acceptable movie, but for horror enthusiasts, it’s worth a look; just beware of the sluggish tempo and arid comedy.

 

The Hardships of Action Movies

Finished Live Free or Die Hard…..again. Aside from Justin Long’s ninety-minute impersonation of a goose with A.D.D. I find it an enjoyable film. I’m a fan of the entire series – a big fan of Bruce Willis. I’ve followed his career since Moonlighting and the pilot episode where the audience predicted within the first ten minutes that he and Maddie were going to wind up in bed together, and Maddie would slice off his genitals with a pair of nail clippers after her bout of sexual depression.

However, it was John McClane that changed the face of action movies for the next three decades. He was the common man, the average cop toppling the heinous ploys of military trained mercenaries and computer geniuses, with his marriage and alcoholism being the only true threats to his livelihood. After Die Hard, the age of the buff, burly men created by the likes of Clint Eastwood, Lee Marvin, and Charles Bronson, evolving to the likes of Stallone and Schwarzenegger dwindled away, focusing now on pretty boys such as Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, and other Ken doll rejects that couldn’t light Richard Roundtree’s cigar, but anyone could now be an action star. Tom Cruise pulled it off, not that the movies were any good, but he still did it.

Luckily, The Expendables has brought us full circle, even bringing along some fresh faces like the multifaceted Terry Crews and the so-terrible-he’s-awesome Randy Couture. 

What I am truly excited about is that now we are also seeing the full fledged emergence of women in action roles. Sigourney Weaver and Pam Grier are a couple of the first memorable ones. I also recall Cynthia Rothrock and Michelle Yeoh in the early days but those two were more noticeable to martial arts enthusiasts, nothing mainstream. Rachel McLish tried to pull it off in Iron Eagle 3, but that was one bird that didn’t fly too well. Now, we have Gina Carano leading the way with her underperforming but great film Haywire, directed by Steven Soderbergh. In The Hunger Games, Jennifer Lawrence is making up for Kirsten Stewart’s uselessness in Twilight – she nearly set women back ninety years with her performance, much like Stephanie Meyers did set women back one-hundred-thirty years with those stacks of garbage she calls the Twilight series. Absolutely abhorrent writing; thankfully Suzanne Collins gave teen girls someone that can actually inspire courage and independence in them rather than ineptitude. Television does enough of that. 

In reality, though, it is regular men and women that do all of the fighting for us. Serving our country, putting their lives on the line everyday, be they police officers, firefighters, soldiers; it’s your next door neighbor – your friend – your total stranger. They inspire valor in people they know. 

One of these days, should you see one of them, take time to shake their hands and thank them. Most of them deserve it. They will never earn the millions of dollars that these actors and authors have made, but they do the dirty work that is glamorized by entertainment and are affected in distressing ways never shown on screen because at the end of the story the heroes receive the accolades, while in reality the true heroes get underpaid and develop psychological disorders. 

* Sidenote: I began an outline for a Die Hard sequel that was action-less. The movie revolved around John McClane dealing with the psychological affects of his adventures – dealing with his failing marriage, his alcoholism, the hardships on his children. I’ll have to tweak it a bit, but it’s salvageable for another story.

Red Hill - Movie Review

Recovering from a recent injury in the line of duty and caring for a pregnant wife that’s ready to burst, Officer Shane Cooper (Ryan Kwanten) is in dire need of a change of scenery so he transfers from the hustle and bustle of Australian city life to the serene and slow paced outback town of Red Hill where cowboys are alive and well and so is their brand of justice which is a culture shock for Shane but he needs to learn quickly because no sooner has he just checked in when one of the most feared prison inmates, Jimmy Conway (Tom E. Lewis), escapes and is gunning for all of the men that put him behind bars.


After putting off Red Hill for months, I find myself harshly regretful that I did. This movie is a lot of fun with the attitude of the town Red Hill being one of the stars. You watch a town that looks like it never grew out of the old west, so essentially you are getting a western, revenge flick; yet, Tom E. Lewis’ portrayal of Jimmy Conway is larger than life – the Grim Reaper on a whiskey and amphetamines bender lugging a full arsenal. The movie is shot in the vein of a slasher film with guns. He was incredibly spooky, playing greatly off of Ryan Kwanten’s young, unencumbered Boy Scout Shane.

Not all of the kills are gun related. We get to see a bevy of Australian weapons put to good use, including spears and a boomerang, but every kill matters and you feel just how personal this ravenous undertaking is for Conway.

Red Hill is welcomed on my screen any time. It’s a fine accomplishment by writer/director Patrick Hughes as this movie is his first full-length feature. I look forward to more of his work, and you enjoy revenge films, westerns, slasher flicks, or just some good old fashioned grit in your flick, Red Hill is what you need.

Lo - Movie Review

Justin (Ward Roberts) has a dilemma. His girlfriend April (Sarah Lassez) is in Hell, kidnapped by demons, and he wants to see her. Using a mysterious book that she gifted him, Justin summons the demon known as Lo (Jeremiah Birkett) to bring forth April so he can talk to her one more time. Lo, however, concocts his own plans for Justin which he throws into motion by forcing Justin to relive his relationship with April, who has a secret, well, at least for Justin because the audience should be able to figure it out in the first thirty minutes of the movie.

Lo is a stage play, or at least that’s how it was filmed. The acting is what you’d expect from amateur thespians and improv specialists, with their hearts and humor well intended. The real stars of Lo are the costumes. They are well designed as the demons all look hideous. The actors move fluently through them further proving why hand craftsmanship is superior to cgi.

The movie is fueled by romance and dark humor, and a time may rise when you repeatedly ask yourself – what the feck am I watching? So, if you can’t get into a morbid mindset you might not enjoy it as much as other folks or even at all but you’ll definitely tell your friends about it. Hopefully they’ll thank you for it. The worst case scenario – you ruin their lives forever on end.

Goon - Movie Review

Doug Glatt is the underwhelming outcast in a family of intellects and believes the only thing he is good for is fighting. A scuffle with a hockey player at a local hockey game proves fortunate for Doug (Sean William Scott) when he’s asked to join the team and be their enforcer, fatefully setting Doug on a collision course with the all-time nastiest combatant in hockey – Ross Rhea (Liev Schreiber).


Jay Baruchel plays Doug’s best friend, the foulmouthed, hockey-lusting Ryan. Baruchel also co-wrote with his chum Evan Goldberg and was a producer. They and director Michael Dowse (Take Me Home Tonight) scored majorly with Goon. A hockey film made and quite possibly masturbated to by hockey lovers for hockey lovers.

I loved it.

A perfect cast – Alison Pill (Scott Pilgrim) makes me adore her even more as the bittersweet, sailor-mouthed Eva. The team is insane; Sean William Scott plays the unfiltered adorable, loveable, huggable meathead version of his usual meathead roles. Kim Coates (Sons of Anarchy) is the intense lunatic of a head coach Ronnie Hortense. Live Schreiber (A Walk on the Moon, if you love Liev you will watch) doesn’t make any major screen time until the latter part of the movie, but you know he owns it all.

Just before the movie feels like it’s getting too silly it evens itself out without ever missing a beat. A vast majority of reviews say this film is the “greatest hockey movie since Slapshot.” They’re right, but Goon conpletely stands on its own.

Chaos as Civility

I wonder when the government will phase out money and switch completely to a credit and debit system? What’s forcing them to continue printing it? Our ignorance, most likely; they’re deviance, again, most likely.


I’m utterly anxious for the next stage. I survived pre-internet, I’ll survive the apocalypse.

How much further will technology go? How much more aggravating will our generations be? The Generation-WiFi is quite irritable and could use a little herd-thinning.

Smart phones, smart televisions; imbecilic owners. Machines are doing all the work these days; we don’t need so many people, particularly the intellectually stunted younger generations, on the planet. That’s a hell of a lot of people. Maybe the next global medical epidemic, the one that leaves Aids in the dust storm, is a message and a not a crisis.

Humans are the only, or at least a rarity of species that save the weak. Other species abandon them, ostracize them, or flat out kill them. Animals are awesome.

Alas, there are rules to follow; careers to exploit. Part of being civil - know when civility has run its course and a new plan is in order. What type of option is chaos? Depends on momentary conditions, one could think. That’s why I’ve kept my mouth shut about Trayvon in Florida. We haven’t heard everything. Every mother’s child is a saint when they’re dead, doesn’t mean he wasn’t a stick-shitter when he was alive. And stereotyping would be rude if it didn’t work the times that it did, and you know it does.

Nothing unites people like a good tragedy, not even swingers’ parties.

Mirageman - Movie Review

In 2007, when superhero movies were becoming the endless treasure trove that all of us geeks knew they could be, there was an independent flick from Chile making the rounds and I happened to catch the trailer for it – Mirageman.


Marco Gutierrez is a humble, private man whose only life companion is his tormented teenage brother Tito who has been in a mental hospital for ever since the their parents were murdered by men who savagely beat Marco and heinously raped Tito. Now, all Marco does is train in martial arts in his sub-complex apartment and work as a bouncer at a night club. His closest associates take advantage of him because he never stands up for himself, but his life changes when he saves the life of local celebrity news reporter Carol Valdivieso. She tells her story and Tito soon springs to a new life, inspiring Marco to use his fighting skills to become a full fledged crime fighter, even setting up an e-mail address for people to contact Mirageman.

Mirageman is one of the better superhero films I have seen in a long time. The film style is almost a documentary, even the costume looks homemade. Marko Zaror does an excellent job of doing much with little while playing Marco. He hardly speaks but his face tells it all and he is an outstanding martial artist. The laughs arrive when we see the difficulties of being a superhero – changing in public, losing your clothes, and Ivan Jara fits the comic bill well as his meek sidekick Pseudo-Robin. The drama builds when Marco receives a mauling at the hands of a gang that his guarding a rampaging child molester known as Red Pedofilia, and he yearns to grow closer to Carol but he doesn’t trust her to keep his secret since she is a cut throat reporter who wants ratings.

The fight scenes are paced nicely and shot cleanly. Thankfully director/writer Ernesto Diaz Espinoza doesn’t buy into the shaky cam routine which has ruined a plethora of potentially epic fight scenes in several movies like Christopher Nolan’s Batman series and the Jason Bourne series. The whole movie reminds of the late 1970’s live-action Spiderman series starring Nicholas Hammond has Spiderman/Peter Parker as Chile seems to have a natural 70’s vibe.

Mirageman is a good martial arts movie dressed up as a superhero flick. It is a well told tale and a well filmed independent movie; definitely worth viewing.

Who Saw Her Die? - Movie Review

A serial killer has emerged in France, murdering young children. Popular sculptor Franco Serpieri’s own daughter becomes a victim. He and his wife do their own investigating, digging themselves deeper into a chaotic dilemma that gets only more complex and more violent the deeper they pursue their grieving curiosity.


I’m not sure if I’ve been craving giallo or good giallo. Either way, Who Saw Her Die? nailed it for me. It had everything expected out of a giallo – colorful, animal references, face-cloaked killers; some bowchickabowwow….yeahyuh.

Oh yeah, kills too, but surprisingly none too explicit but filmed nicely.

This was one of a handful of Aldo Lado’s contributions to the grim genre which he executes formulaically, but I needed a fix, it worked for me. He incorporates the compact structure of the bayside city and its bleak scenery well into the story making for some intriguing imagery. There’s actually some higher quality acting as well, I mean, for an English-dubbed version; but their expression told the story, they sold it. There’s also a character that undoubtedly looks like Flounder from Animal House (Stephen Furst).

The soundtrack by Enrico Morricone is deliciously bizarre using off-tempo rhythms, with the killer’s theme being one that will stalk your mind for days on end.


I needed a giallo fix, Who Saw Her Die fixed me and left me craving more.

Happy Accidents - Movie Review

Ruby Weaver prefers boyfriends she can fix. Naturally, she foolishly gets repeatedly involved with the greatest losers. Her latest loser, Sam Deed, however, believes they are destined to be together because he is an illegal time traveler from the year 2470 and he saw her face in a picture. The more Sam reveals about himself the more his story develops holes and his quirky act may be more symptomatic or plain lies than sweetly innocent.


Marisa Tomei won me over again. She does that, but she’s not for everyone. Although, it is sonic porn to my ears when she yells, “motherfucker.” The schizo-specialist and all around excellent actor Vincent D’Onofrio taking a romantic turn yet again frolicking in the role of the mentally unbalanced. He’s a squeaky teddy bear in this one.

All of that comes from the mind and effort of Brad Anderson, the same one responsible for sweet ditties, like Session 9, The Machinist, and the shwiggity shweet Transsiberian. Much like those movies had flaws, so does Happy Accidents – mostly pacing, some hokey dialogue, but also like those others the flaws didn’t hurt the movie enough to make me walk away completely. Happy Accidents is a neat, geeky chick flick with intriguing, relatable characters.

Demons of the Mind - Movie Review

Try and keep up.


Afraid that his demented wife passed along a congenital disease before her suicide, a mad Baron Zorn keeps his incestuous son Emil and daughter Elizabeth drugged and imprisoned in their home. A brief escape leads Elizabeth to a village where local women are being murdered by what the paranoid villagers believe to be demons. A wandering religious zealot vows to rid the village of them while a scientist swears that his newest invention can cure the children of their sickness.

Yup.

There is quite the madness in Demons of the Mind. I really liked it; however, it let the madness smother the experience when it already had the right amount, but Robert Hardy is on full intensity as Baron Zorn and that, let me tell you, is entertaining. Gillian Hills is so wonderful to look at. A filling portion of violence and above average cinematography also helped make Demons of the Mind time adequately spent.

Crawlspace (1986) - Movie Review

A former Nazi surgeon obsessed with his control over life and death has turned his surgical skills into elaborate death traps for the women occupying his boarding house whom he spies on through the ventilation ducts.

Veteran character actor Klaus Kinski plays Dr. Karl Gunther, a power mad surgeon with a lust for killing. As usual Kinski outshines most of the cast. He has the visual appeal of a homicidal ice cream man with the attitude of a Howitzer cannon. The victims in Crawlspace are an upgrade from the typical teenage dingbats. These victims are adult, goal oriented women with a few of them trying to molt the dingbat image.

Crawlspace was a wonderful surprise from director/writer David Scmoeller who brought us other horror thrillers such as Netherworld and Tourist Trap. It is filled with grizzly shocks and adequate kills. The more you learn about Dr. Gunther the more you either hope the worst or damn if the demented elf doesn’t start growing on you.

Manning in Denver: As Rocky as a Rocky Mountaing Road Gets

It’s a good fit but there aren’t reasons to celebrate in Denver just yet. Manning can throw pads on and throw for as many YouTube hits and ESPN clips as he can but until he takes a manhood raping NFL quality hit will only the first of the many tarrying questions: How durable is the neck? How long until the rust shakes off completely?


A possible key factor in all of this is that quaint similarity between towns like Denver and Indianapolis. They’re family friendly with an extensive sports history, particularly football history. Manning eclipsed Johnny Unitas’s legacy; now, he’s walking into a similar scenario in Denver except the legend he’s replacing is going to be guiding him through the entire process.

Peyton Manning worships football. He still carries an unquenchable will to play. Maybe he feels like he’s being tested once again, but I don’t think anyone worth credible human DNA would have faulted him for retiring. Instead, he is walking into a quarterback-loving town to share a monumental experience with one of the best of the best.

There is a squadron of wide receivers that are chiefly ecstatic for several quarterback-styled reasons.

John Elway is a showman. He exceeded on a football field in the days when quarterbacks were fair game against and alongside some of the greatest players of all time. He’s someone Peyton surely idolized in his earlier years and bought whatever Elway was selling because of their united, almost vindictive desire to win games and championships.

The Tebow situation will handle itself. I truly believe it will be the best thing to happen for him and the team he goes to.

*cough* Miami *cough*

It looks like both sides are approaching contractual points wisely because this whole experiment could crumble with a single flail. No one is cheering easy victories just yet and they won’t be; maybe at first, maybe all season, but Denver keeps on giving people a reason to cheer.

Hands of the Ripper - Movie Review

As a young girl, Anna bore the misfortune of witnessing her mother’s murder. The murderer was being chased across the city of London by the citizens because this man was responsible for donning a cloak of terror across the city with his sadistic killings of prostitutes. Anna’s father was Jack the Ripper. In a confused, frightful state the Ripper didn’t know where else to go, so he went home and before the public could find him he killed his wife.



It has now been over ten years since that insidious evening. Anna is now working as an assistant to a fraudulent medium who also sells Anna for the evening to lonely gentleman. The evening after one fortuitous session, one of the skeptical attendees, psychologist Dr. John Pritchard, shows sympathy for Anna and agrees to take her in to live at his estate. He decrees that he hopes to aid Anna using the newest theories of an admirable psychologist – Dr. Sigmund Freud - on Anna in regards to childhood experiences’ effects on the behavior of adults. Of course, what none of these people know is that Anna’s childhood was much further from the general definition of normal and now she bares a curse – her father’s curse. Once her psychosomatic urge is triggered, Anna’s hands come to life and act out the same carnal deeds once carried out by her infamous father.


We have had Jack the Ripper face Scotland Yard in reality. In movies he has gone up against the likes of H.G. Wells and his time machine in Time After Time. He was a chemically transforming transsexual in Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde, and in every medium thus far conceived has run across Sherlock Holmes – most particularly in the films A Study in Terror and Murder by Decree. Now, in Hands of the Ripper, we have the acts of the Ripper facing a fresh adversary on a new playground. Inside the mind, courtesy of Dr. Sigmund Freud, which translates poetically in Hands of the Ripper, because it is the Ripper’s offspring facing Freud’s theories through Dr. Pritchard’s usage.


Hands of the Ripper was an interesting experiment in itself. What the talented, veteran Hammer films director Peter Sasdy (Countess Dracula) tried to do was keep the movie and story focused on the psychological aspects of Anna, her childhood, and the effects it implicated upon her mind all the while maintaining the traditional Hammer film flair of captivating atmosphere and unbridled violence.


Hammer Films regular Eric Porter (The Day of the Jackal) sternly portrays a concerned Dr. John Pritchard whose true intentions are obvious to everyone in the audience and yet not to himself. Once he begins donating all of his late-wife’s belongings to Anna, it is clear where his character’s actions are leading. Angharad Rees has an adorable, innocent face and fit perfectly in the role of a sub conscientious killer, and while the murders are few they are intense; and maybe one that is awkward, perhaps questionable, but still lovely and bloody.


Hands of the Ripper is a sweet surprise and something slightly out of the ordinary for a Hammer films production. While the acting is up to standard, the character development has issues with logic, but I suppose when dealing with killers and love, how much say does logic really have? As a fan of old horror films, especially Hammer films, I enjoyed Hands of the Ripper and recommend it to anyone interested in more than gore porn and body counts. There is an interesting tale being told here – story matters.

The Piano Tuner of Earthquakes - Movie Review

Malvina van Stille (Amira Casar) is in the midst of another incredible opera performance as her voice mesmerizes the crowd when suddenly she is shot and killed. If such a tragedy wasn’t enough, her body soon goes missing. Meanwhile, Felisberto Fernandez (Cesar Sarachu) is a piano tuner who comes from a long line of piano tuners with ears so powerful they can hear any noise from the ground to the sky. He has been hired by an awkward physician named Dr. Emmanuel Droz (John Gottfried) to come to is secluded clinic, not to tune a piano, but to refurbish his eerily human-like automatons. Felisberto must work quickly because the doctor wants these androids ready for a private opera he himself is staging wit the aid of his assistant and clinic manager, the exotic Assumpta (Assumpta Serna). She captures the eye of Felisberto who uses her to find out more information about the doctor and his clinic until another woman snares his attention with the harrowing majesty of her singing voice. Felisberto discovers that Malvina, while not alive, is Dr. Droz’s special singer for which this private elaborate production has been created. She will be his own nightingale, but now that Felisberto has the attention of both Assumpta and Malvina, the doctor’s plans are in jeapordy and he must see to it that Felisberto does not ruin his wonderful dream.

Watching this movie is very much like watching a dream. Directors and writers Stephen Quay and Timothy Quay create a fabulous, gothic atmosphere ripe for the both stage and screen with wood-carved backgrounds occasionally standing in for reality while brilliantly manipulating the mood of each scene. The script is something you would hear in a dream, I wouldn’ eve be surprised if George Lynch was a big influence on the two moviemakers. At first it felt like I was watching a filmly by Terry Giliam, and after seeing the credits, I almost was as he is an executive producer.

With The Piano Tuner of Earthquakes being atmospheric in the likes of a morbid fairytale, the story definitely takes its time going anywhere seemingly significant, but every character has layers of expressions and ideals to pick at, and you are never quite sure who is trying to outperform who once their feelings for one another become quite clear, and whether it is an admiration of love or of despicable contempt, no one is safe.

Bloody Birthday (1981) - Movie Review

Something unique happened in Joyce’s hometown in the year 1970. A total eclipse occurred.  At the apex of that solar phenoenon, another event happened. Timmy, Debbie, and Curtis were born. No one could have seen it coming, but eleven years later the effects of that fateful eclipse would unlock an insatiable urge to kill upon the motley trio, and with their birthday just around the corner, their bloodlust only grows.

Bloody Birthday (a.k.a. Creepers) is a film that unwittingly seems to help usher in the 80’s fright films era courtesy of director/co-writer Ed Hunt and co-writer Barry Pearson - cheesy dialogue, a mandatory topless girl, and special effects ranging from incredible to laughable. Some of the kills are indeed comedic at times, especially when a ten year old is gunning people down from behind with no blood to show for his or the guns efforts, but watching the three lure one their parents into a trap to be bludgeoned with a baseball bat is chilling in its actions despite the lack of gore.

Other than using children as savage murderers, or actually – because it is children that are savage murderers - another unique detail is that the majority of the movie and murders occur during the day, which may cut down on the scares but only helps increase the thrills of the kills.

Bloody Birthday is worth a chance, and I think most horror fans would be pleasantly surprised by the overall experience with this movie. You can even enjoy a bit of birthday cake with your viewing.

Vengeance (2009) - Movie Review

A Chinese man, his French wife, and their two sons are brutally murdered by a trio of hired killers. When the wife’s father, Costello, learns of their deaths, he vows revenge on the men who killed them and on the person who ordered the hit. However, Costello is suffering from slow-acting, permanent amnesia. If he is to exact his revenge he must do so quickly before his memory completely vanishes.

To do the job, Costello hires three other hired gunmen whom he meets under coincidental circumstances; one could look at it as fate lending a grieving father a helping hand. After the three mercenaries accept the job they begin building a unique bond with Costello who is much more than a mere French chef. Not unusual since his trio of assassins seem to have closer ties to the whole situation than anyone ever expected.

I have been waiting to see this movie for two, perhaps even three years. There is something blissfully visceral about a good revenge story. I did my best to keep my expectations even for when I did finally come across Vengeance, and I’m not sure if it helped but it sure didn’t hurt. Vengeance is a great story from start to finish. Director Johnnie To (Election) tightly captures the peculiar warmth and abnormal caring of people that kill for a living, which is fleshed out well by screenwriter Kai-Fai Wai.  

Most enjoyable is the chemistry between Costello, played by French pop icon Johnny Hallyday, and his three associates Kwai (Anthony Wong Chau-Sang), Chu (Ka Tung Lam), and Fat Lok (Suet Lam), who are part assassins, part Three Stooges.

Vengeance is full of gorgeous cinematography, great gun battles, and fun character development. It is definitely a movie I wouldn’t mind watching again very soon.

Heaven Sent, Hellbent - The Potentiality of Peyton Manning & Randy Moss United

With Randy Moss hoping to return to the NFL, various signals went on high alert. There should be no doubt as to which Randy Moss is returning. There is only one kind – one of the greatest deep threats to ever play on a football field, and one of the most controversial figures in sports history.

One of the largest misconceptions about Randy Moss is that he is not a team player. Veterans that have played with Randy Moss and that have gotten to know the man, such as Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and ESPN analyst (former Vikings wide receiver) Cris Carter vouch for his teamwork attributes. Its when the hammers starts coming down on Randy that his overbearing competitive personality takes a turn for the worse and the stubborn, take-my-ball-and-go-home Randy Moss emerges. Tragically, that is the Randy Moss the general public knows best.

Randy Moss’ desire to return couldn’t have come at a more exciting, if not, coincidental time seeing as how one of the greatest wide receivers of all time is available the same time when one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time might be -  and by the general consensus is – on his way to being a free agent.

March 8 is the deadline for the Indianapolis Colts, and more specifically owner Jim Irsay, to decide if they want to pay Peyton Manning the $28 million option bonus on his current contract. If they don’t, Manning becomes an unrestricted free agent.

Peyton Manning has been cleared by his personal physicians and by NFL physicians for play, according to a February 2 report from ESPN, Irsay tweeted on February 3, ““Peyton has not passed our physical nor has he been cleared to play for The Indianapolis Colts,” so what would be good for most, if not every other, NFL team isn’t good enough for the team that Peyton Manning resurrected from the competitive graveyard. Manning has apparently begun contract negotiations in the public forum. ESPN also reported that Manning mentioned that he is willing to sign on another team with an incentives-laden contract for as little guaranteed money as reasonable, and we all know between his old contracts and his successful endorsement deals, Peyton isn’t hurting in the pocket, and according to doctors he is no longer hurting in the neck. His only pain stems from his desire to play football.

If an archetype quarterback could land on the same team with an archetype wide receiver, there is no telling how far Peyton Manning and Randy Moss could go together, especially with the offense-friendly/defense-hindering rules used in the NFL. Without a doubt, both men are leaders with killer instincts. Do not let Peyton’s “ah shucks” persona fool you. On the football field, he is as cut throat of a competitor as there is, just like Moss. Randy is a wonderful humanitarian. He is one of the highest contributors to teenage charities in sports, and he cares about his fellow teammate. However, when times get tough; when the ball doesn’t spin in the team’s favor, that’s when the combatants’ ideologies split in opposite directions. Peyton Manning perseveres until the last second ticks. Randy Moss has shown that he will be packing his suitcase on the sidelines, ready to load the bus.

When it comes time to signing contracts, Peyton has already expressed his needs, but with Randy Moss, what the team would need is probably a decent amount of guaranteed money and a nonnegotiable out-clause for when the balls cease to find his direction on a consistent basis. It would be amazing to see these two play together, but to any teams barely considering the idea, the overall price might be too heavy to burden.