The Invitation (2003) - Movie Review

Roland Levy (Lance Henriksen) is an author who’s life was being crushed by personal demons until a trip to Africa and a meeting with an indigenous tribe forced him to face up to his own evil or die. Feeling better than he has in years, Roland decides to offer this same opportunity to six unsuspecting guests to his island, secretly poisoning them and offering them a chance to confess their darkest secret or die.

At face value, The Invitation doesn’t have a whole lot going for it. The budget is between a Lifetime original and Skinemax. With some editing, this movie could actually be shown on Lifetime. The acting is of soap opera quality with the exception of Lance Henriksen. No matter how minimal his role or how low the movie budget, Lance Henriksen always brings his best to the table.

Written and first-time-directed by veteran TV and movie actor Pat Bermel, the story too has some surprising moments – heartfelt, even – so I will not completely disregard this movie. There are some feel-good moments that make it worthwhile if you’re willing to get past the previously suggested negatives (I say “suggested” because it’s an opinion. Remember those? Those were valid before the internet seemingly made everyone’s opinion an inarguable fact, punishable by death if you don’t agree with them.)  However, the aesthetic value almost falls off the rails with the poorly edited cut scenes used to initiate flashbacks and mind freaks, but manages to keep itself together through the dialogue.

The Invitation is a suspense film; there is no gore, there are some failed attempts at frights, but overall you get a decent story that, most people might ignore because of the subpar image and acting qualities. I wouldn’t recommend it as a first choice, more like a rainy day selection. However, if all you’re seeing it for is Lance Henriksen (like me); you’ve really got nothing to lose. 

There is no available trailer for The Invitation, so here's two minutes that explore Lance Henriksen's extensive career and a brief word from the man himself.

Prometheus (2012) - Movie Review

What begins as an expedition for the creation of mankind in the furthest depths of outer space becomes a nightmare of apocalyptic proportions.

Prometheus was originally intended to be Ridley Scott’s prequel to the Alien franchise, but from one innocent concept, as it occasionally tends to happen, spawned a much larger undertaking than previously imagined. Anyone venturing into Prometheus expecting a full-on prequel may be disappointed. While there are elements relating to the popular franchise, a new door is opened for an entirely different adventure and, potentially, an entirely different franchise.

Ridley Scott’s return to epic science fiction storytelling is a visual marvel. It is one of the cleanest meshing of live-action and CGI that I have ever seen, and the set pieces are immaculate as they are gargantuan and the maestro makes it look so simple to maneuver within the world. The performances feel natural, particularly Guy Pearce (and if you guess who Guy Pearce portrays, you win a cyber beer). Prometheus’ main problem is the script, filled with so many illogical errors, it’s a wonder why writers are the least respected creators in movie making.

John Spaihts, whose only other credit is the ill-received The Darkest Hour, and Damien Lindelof, co-creator of Lost and the screen writer of the ill-received (notice a pattern) Cowboys & Aliens, co-wrote the film, with Lendelof actually jumping on after the script was partially completed. How Ridley Scott didn’t take these two behind the woodshed and beat them to death with decomposed skunks is beyond me. Perhaps there was some studio interference, I don’t know but the more I thought about the lack of common sense in the story and dialogue the more I laugh.

Does that mean I disliked the film? I enjoyed it greatly in spite of the bar napkin they wrote the movie on. Prometheus made me anxious to watch Alien all over again. Ridley Scott’s direction was impeccable and the story (what they did do well) struck a fine balance between science fiction and horror and I would recommend this movie to anyone that likes the Alien series. If someone LOVES the series, they might look too deep into the story and wind up hating the movie. I took it for what it was and had a great time. Hopefully, should you choose to watch Prometheus, you can do the same. 

Safe House (2012) - An Observation

 Finally caught Safe House today. I enjoyed it more for what it wasn't than what it was. It didn't try to break the mold in regards to action and espionage storytelling. It was fairly basic, which worked out well because there wasn't a risk of turning off the audience by overloading the twists, turns, and head fakes that tend to dominate a movie like this. It was straightforward, no-nonsense thrills.

Denzel Washington, naturally, was superb. If Morgan Freeman is God, Denzel is Jesus. Ryan Reynolds played against type in this one. No jokes, no arrogant one-liners; just a guy who's trying to do his job and not get killed in the process.

I don't know if it was the lighting or the atmosphere - Vera Farmiga looked terrible. She's usually quite gorgeous. Not sure what's going on there. Brendan Gleeson is welcome to appear in every movie I see from now until eternity. The guy is a joy to watch.

It's always nice to see Ruben Blades in a movie.Where has he been hiding? And can he get a role where he doesn't die for once, please?

Director Daniel Espinosa apparently hopes to be the second coming of Tony Scott, which is partially why I believe Denzel Washington (co-producer of the movie) chose to work with him. The resemblance in style is heavily apparent. He could use some work on his fight scenes. Typical of almost every modern day movie, the action was nearly indecipherable, jumbled, but well paced. David Guggenheim's script was filled with sweet government agency jargon. I got a kick out of that. I felt like I was watching a Greg Rucka novel on screen.

Safe House seemed to play it safe and opted to tell a good, solid story instead of turning the espionage genre upside down and it was more the better for it. Good for a rental.

News Bits

Shane Mosley announced his retirement from boxing via twitter. I give it a week before he announces his comeback.

Meanwhile, scientists are once again backtracking - this time on where mankind actually began. Instead of Africa, now they're more certain than ever it was Asia.  Seriously, ladies and gentlemen, unless you were there you will never know for certain.

House of Bones (2010) - Movie Review

After multiple television seasons of camera tricks and practical jokes, a raggedy team of ghost hunters finally encounter a house that serves up legitimate frights, sending the team into a fight for survival and for one particular group member, a hunt for ratings.

 Charisma Carpenter (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Expendables) is the most familiar face in this movie, and it seems like budget cuts were made in the makeup department because she looks human in this film, unlike her previous roles where she looks like as unblemished, arousing deity. Corin Nemec (Parker Lewis Can’t Lose) is a close second; not because you remember him from anything specific, you just know you have seen this guy in something somewhere before, usually in a b-movie on SyFy – HEY, guess what House of Bones is? But the difference is that House of Bones is actually a decent flick. SyFy was able to hammer out a movie with some decent special effects, except for one scene involving a green screen and a hole in the floor, and some nice kills courtesy of a mean-spirited house.

Basically, House of Bones is Monster House for grown ups. Considering the heaps of garbage SyFy churns out annually, occasionally they offer up a contender – not necessarily a winner, but something that people can at least say that is not the biggest cinematic turd ever laid. House of Bones offers some adequate performances, impressive debauchery, and the usual, laughable b-movie flubs in continuity and camera shots. 

Problems Best Solved by Fucking

Love isn’t a final solution. I like that. It’s not a final resolution. It’s a belief; billions of people believe in it, so strongly it becomes real to us. But it’ll never fix a problem absolutely. Truthfully, it only causes more than they and the lawyers are worth. You try solving a problem with love you end up a manic depressive stashed away by their family in a sanitarium dressed in the nun outfit and scuba gear you were found wearing because she was Catholic and a medal-winning swimmer.

Love is faith to some people. The faith they don’t put into religion they place on love. Both concepts circle around the same ideology and potential for ill-advised fixations. You place complete trust in someone, something; even yourself, but you still must create your own argumentative tangibility.

Jesus was crucified for practicing a different faith. Some women get staplegunned through the skull for fucking the wrong guy; she doesn’t have to be cheating either. A mentally irrational lonely scum forged a tangible belief to his conscientious self that he and this new corpse were in love; yet, he caught her cheating and instead of breaking up with her, she became carpentry.

Belief – faith – seemingly makes life easier. It doesn’t fix anything, but it definitely can smoothen the most desolate roads. We will still hit walls, and we’ll continue getting up.

Life becomes less lonely. You punch people out of harmonious appreciation instead of  selfish anger. You believe things are going to be alright. You’ll hit many more wall, you believe in something; you get up.

Usually, anyway.

Accident of Birth-day Thoughts

I rarely think about my birthday; it's never been as special to me as it is to others. Most people use it as another excuse to celebrate, others use it as an excuse to rigorously celebrate. If I ever need an excuse to celebrate, I take a deep breath and appreciate the value of my life, and then I try drowning it all in booze and debauchery because I have that right. As a human being, I am afforded that right, just as I am afforded to tell someone to mind their own business when they start asking me questions about my personal life.

My mother was in labor for nearly nine hours with me, the man claimed by the state of Texas to be my birth father texted me ten minutes ago, saying that he remembers being born at that time. There isn't much to remember after that since we were disassociated for the next few decades - naturally, each parent blames the other for that, personally I don't care. The only people relevant to my childhood have long passed away and I'm still working on the goals I set out for myself in honor of them, and when I accomplish those goals, I'll set some new ones.

For something of greater importance, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened on this day. Happy anniversary to that.

Me and the family did a tiny bit of celebrating, though. My aunt fixed cheese enchiladas for me along with other assorted sides and delicacies. The whole afternoon was topped off with some almond-something-or-other cake; quite delicious if only for a slightly thick texture, but delicious regardless.

Made it home and continued reading Storm Constantine's Wraeththu trilogy so I can make room for Greg Rucka's latest offering Alpha. Also received a copy of Brett Lewis' and John Paul Leon's graphic novel Wintermen, which is one of the finest comic books of this or any era that I have had the pleasure of reading and am eagerly awaiting to read again. Espionage, intrigue, and interesting people with powers; far better than any super hero book being produced these days.

The San Antonio Spurs won game 1 in their best of 7 series against the Oklahoma City Thunder. That was a nice, trans-universal gift.

I don't need people to know I'm alive, I just need them to pay me enough money so I can stay out of their lives.

Referees & Children - Don't Trust Either One

I’m proud of the way the Denver Nuggets went out. They could’ve folded up the tents in the third, but no; they kept at it and almost brought down the empire. They went out on fire.

Lakers and Thunder is going to be an interesting series. I don’t see it going the full seven but it very likely could. Either way, OKC wins.

The majority of sports news I’ve paid attention to think the Spurs are going to snap out the Clippers in five games. I know the Clippers are wounded, but they’re motivated like a meat train; however, the Spurs are no fools. Hopefully they’ve taken into account this extended resting period they’ve been on which is good for healing injuries but not so good for game performance. Full speed scrimmages are a necessity.

Thought about all of these newborn babies entering the world; too many of them, but they never asked to be born, they never had the opportunity to discourage their parents from giving in to a basic primal urge. Yet, it’s the magic of science – those unpredictable variables that can allow two of the ugliest bipeds to live long enough to copulate and produce a beautiful child.

OKC is stomping the Lakers in the face right now.

Had a chance to hear some new, posthumously released Joey Ramone. Enjoying it very much. Am also catching up on the latest Our Lady Peace album - Curve. I'm so far behind these days, although it pays that most new music isn't worth a mother whale's titty whirl. 

So, all of these new babies will be fed using my money. I mind about as much as I have control over it, which is none. It’d be easier to secretly sterilize targeted neighborhoods through their water supply. But then, the government would start doing it to everyone; not just the ones in Arizona.

I can’t remember the first time I held a baby. I can’t remember the first time I was simply even introduced to one. I remember being one, alone in my crib, staring in awe of the brightest rock in the sky. The things surrounding it – were they smaller rocks or holes in the sky? What was behind the sky?

Always ask questions. We tell children to do that, then, more often than not their punished for it, or called stupid. It’s okay to treat them like children. Don’t treat them like they’re irrevocably stupid – although they make it hard not to sometimes. I mean some of the stuff that comes out of their mouths; they’re just begging for it, but let them be children. Nowadays, though, they are very different from when we were children. They can play tennis indoors. Many of them have read over two thousand text messages but not a single book. They are ridiculously tech-savvy only at the sacrifice of old fashioned common sense. Who needs that?  They have neediness and greed now which was a byproduct of lazy parenting and pathetic, greed laden politics.

Don’t you dare trust a child. They can’t do simple math but they’ll lock and load a fully automatic gun unit faster than you can multiply two digit numbers.

Outcast (2010) - Movie Review

A travelling Irish mother and son rent a space in Edinburgh’s projects. Mary and her teenage son Fergal are two witches on the run from a couple of witch hunters. Shut mostly indoors by his mother his whole life, Fergal’s innocence attracts one of the Scottish estate’s residents - Petronella. The two fall into forbidden puppy love as Mary tries to protect her son from the hunters and the other sinister presence that has followed the two, leaving bloodbaths wherever they’ve stopped. 

After a slow start things really picked up. Don’t give up on this one. 

Edinburgh was almost a cast member of the film, really great use of the atmosphere’s personality in the movie. There’s a proper amount of blood and guts, a tastefully executed non-nude sex scene, which was awesome cuz you know three seconds after meeting Petronella she gonna give it up. Hanna Stanbridge who portrays Petronella wouldn’t be most guys’ cup of tea, but I know I’d take a big gulp. Yeee-eah.

The downside of Outcast, besides a little bit of logic (but that’s every horror flick), is like most horror movies this is an idea that would’ve suited better as part of an anthology. The movie is ninety-eight minutes long, and the majority of it is worthwhile while a good twenty or thirty minutes hacked off would’ve made it exciting. It’s also possible that the atmosphere would’ve been as effective as it was; I think it would’ve held up. 

If you decide to check it out, let it keep going and then decide.