Savages (2012) - Yeah, I Watched It

Two successful independent marijuana farmers, an ex-Navy Seal Chon and a planet saving, modern day hippie Ben and their shared girlfriend O (Blake Lively) are approached by a Mexican drug cartel to join their operation by choice or by force.

Before Oliver Stone decides to make his next overly embellished true events film which my money is going to be about the Penn State child molestation scandal where Oliver Stone will change Joe Paterno’s character from a head coach that turned a blind eye to a heinous crime into a kidnapping, drug addicting kingpin of the pedophiliac sex trade, he decided to make a “movie.”

Based on Don Winslow’s novel of the same name, who also co-wrote the movie, Stone tackles the subject of the ultra profitable market of the California triangle’s weed industry. It’s a fast paced film with a gritty look that serves the story and violence very well. Selma Hayek is excellent (and ridiculously gorgeous) as the ruthless queenpin/heart broken mother Elena Sanchez. Benicio Del Toro turns in another fantastic performance as her blood thirsty, heartless right hand man Lado. John Travolta plays Dennis a DEA agent who watches Chon’s and Ben’s backs for a percentage of their profits, but in reality is out for himself. He and Del Toro share a hilarious, nearly show stealing scene close to the climax of the movie.

Everyone’s acting was commendable, but it was the three main characters that I took issues with. Maybe because I’m always anxious to slap a hippy and I can’t stand spoiled airheads. But Ben was cool. However, you would have to be on drugs to go through the hell that Ben and Chon endure just to get some dingbat whom the two best friends apparently can’t live without. During the entire movie I just wanted Lado to cut the idiot little princess’ head off or for Ben and Chon to take a break from the weed, maybe come to their senses and leave the skank behind, but then there wouldn’t be much of a story.

Savages is a good movie (I’m actually curious about the novel) that digs into two of America’s greatly publicized issues. I’m glad that it shows how sinister the Mexican drug cartels can be because they are no longer looking across the border, they are here  in the United States; not just the border towns, they are everywhere legally and illegally, and we as a nation have much more disturbing issues such as these cartels to deal with than marijuana, gay rights, and other non-sensical issues that all politicians (I won’t say corrupt politicians because that would be redundant; they’re ALL corrupt) use to distract the public, and which the majority of the public allows because of ignorance, stubbornness, or just plain stupidity.  

 

"Too Soon" Overkill

The tragedy that happened in Aurora, Colorado isn't something to be taken lightly. It's an incident that could have happened and can still happen anytime, anywhere. In fact, now that it's been done once, whether it was orchestrated by higher authority figures, as some evidence has pointed to, or if this seemingly disturbed young man acted alone, the chances of there being a copycat are at the highest levels.

In this modern era of increasingly desensitized, illiterate, useless cultures, jokes about this incident sprang before the corpses of the innocent were even cold. As a human being that is your right to do so. As an American you have the right to be as insensitive as you please in any social medium. While it may irk my ire on occasion, I support your rights but those dull witted, repetitive, toilet humored, miscreants (look it up) that can't think of your own ways to disturb people need to be capable of taking the heat and hatred that comes with that act instead of acting like the whiny, mother/father infatuated, incest hopeful cowards that you really are. Go ahead and hide behind your computer screen and your keyboard because being a jackass on the internet is apparently better for you than being the nobody that you are in reality.

And now, thanks to you unimaginative, over-privileged, regurgitating losers the once humorous "too soon?" phrase has officially reached overkill in record time. Instead of thinking on your own, because you've never had an original idea in your life because that means you actually had to use your brain at some point, you just copied and pasted the first joke that you found on Facebook or Twitter, or picked up where the last moron the rest of you morons idolize left off after the Penn State molestation case and proudly joked about mass murder. I myself share jokes that some people consider highly inappropriate, but I always know which lines to cross and which ones to leave alone; plus, if I don't come up with it I give credit where it's due, and I do it because it is who I am and not because I'm looking for "likes" and retweets. When you go on the defensive, like you're so quick to do, all you prove is that you just want attention, like the spoiled, uncultured, simpleton you are. 

Now, whenever the next publicized catastrophe happens, and someone uses the "Too soon?" phrase, your friends might giggle because they are part of the same brainless flock of sheep that I've described above, but those of us with fully functional brains will roll our eyes, call you a douchebag in our minds because doing it online isn't worth our time, and you don't have the necessary fortitude to do it to someone's face without crying to your precious mommy and her strap-on that you adore about why no one likes your jokes when really they just don't like you and they never have. I would suggest you look up the word "fortitude" but that involves effort and even worse - reading, two things your generation and devolved species are incapable of doing.

Boy Wonder (2010) - Movie Review

After witnessing his mother's murder, musical prodigy Sean Donovan has grown up into a shy intellectual about to graduate from high school and move on to prestige, but the mystery over who killed his mother has consumed his life, and after witnessing innocent people in his New York neighborhood continuing to be brutalized by relentless thugs, Sean takes it upon himself to deliver vigilante justice, but his noble efforts begin wearing down his scope of reality and he may be doing more harm than good.

What Christopher Nolan did with Batman Begins, taking the fantastic and grounding it in reality, writer/director Michael Morrissey goes one step further with his first feature length effort. What if a ten year old upstart actually witnessed the murder of one of his parents? The Batman comparisons don't end there. The title Boy Wonder is related to Batman's comic book sidekick - Robin, the Boy Wonder, there are two detectives Stenson (an insensitive obese goof) and Ames (a tough Latina woman) who are reflections of Gotham City detectives Harvey Bullock and Renee Montoya. However, the comparisons nearly end there because this Boy Wonder has no issues with putting 9mm rounds through bad guys' skulls.

The film shows you how Sean prepares for his endeavor, training in kickboxing and jiujitsu, shooting steroids to become stronger and faster, donning an all black outfit topped off with a hoodie and face paint to make himself a threat, and the side effects of his injuries and the drugs. He slowly begins losing grip on reality. Meanwhile, his father (a recovering abusive alcoholic) remains clueless.

I had no idea what to expect when I started watching Boy Wonder. I had never heard of it and could only recall a handful of the stars from bit parts in other TV and movie productions, but I think being oblivious about this movie helped me like it as much as I did. I found it to be a neat psychological thriller that definitely pays off in the end because the consequences of Sean's actions are very real. Like any mystery or thriller, some coincidences need to occur in order for the story to progress of which there was only a small amount, which maintained the thickening tension. Good acting from the whole cast plus very capable directing from a first-timer made Boy Wonder one of the best surprise films that I've experienced in many years. I would recommend it for comic book geeks, suspense lovers, and anyone who is in the mood for just a really good movie. 

Humanising Movie Monsters

 Being a lifelong horror fan as well as a lifelong story lover, both creating and experiencing, when it came to the icons like Jason, Freddy, and Michael, I always wondered about their past lives. Who were they before they donned their masks or were burned horribly.

Sometimes those questions are best left unanswered. Just look at Rob Zombie's Halloween reboots. Horrible films, good acting by Tyler Mane as Michael, but the illusion of the mosnter was taken away and all we were left with was a sad giant that wanted his mommy. Robert Englund's Freddy was a sadistic child-killer, but again, the reboot twisted him into a psychologically imbalanced child molestor; a different kind of monster, but both made a deal with demons to return for revenge through people's dreams. Jason was the only one left unexplained even though a consistently terrible reboot for him was completed for him too.

When I was around ten years old, I started coming up with my own theories about Jason's origins and why he never died. Why did he continue returning from the dead to Camp Crystal Lake? Back then I didn't know that I could potentially be ruining some of the things that I loved about these creatures; their mystery. With Jason, I theorized that Camp Crystal Lake was formerly Native American soil. Native Americans have special ties with the land and since Jason was a disfigured outcast, his only friend besides his mother was the camp grounds and the woods. When he died, the woods brought him back to life and would continue doing just that. His hatred and contempt for those people that wronged him and his mother was what made him kill. I surmised that the only way to kill Jason was to kill him outside Camp Crystal Lake's borders, but then Jason Takes Manhattan killed that idea.

When Halloween: H20 came out, I knew there was going to be another movie. Since this was the first reboot, there was room to play with the story and the family. I hoped that Michael's nephew would gather up the remaining Myers family and for the first time take the fight to Michael. Only members of the Myers family could kill Michael who, again, was powered by hatred.

I was young, I didn't know any better. They say you should never meet your heroes, and sometimes you shouldn't try to humanize the perfectly inhumane. Let them be monsters.

The Amateurs (2005) - Movie Review

Andy Sargentee is having a mid-life crisis….again. This recent episode is triggered by his ex-wife’s marriage to a wealthy, self made man whom Andy is afraid will replace him as the main male role model in his son’s life. Andy decides he needs to do something big, not just for himself but for the whole town.

He gathers the small town citizens of Butterface Fields and tells them that they will be the first town to band together to make a porno film. Only problem is, they have no idea how.

Jeff Bridges usually involves himself in two kinds of films - obscure comedy and heavily dramatic; both of which on occasion have a central sexual theme involved. Me thinks the dude likes getting freaky with the Mrs. The Amateurs though doesn’t involve just him this time. There is an all-star cast with each character playing a vital role in the story’s development. Ted Danson (Cheers) plays a repressed homosexual who winds up auditioning for the lead role in the porn, Tim Blake Nelson (O Brother, Where Art Thou) is Barney – Andy’s good friend and executive producer of the adult film, and other well cast individuals all of whom do an excellent job with their quirky characters.

 This is Michael Traeger’s only effort as both writer and director. He wrote the underrated and hilarious Dead Man on Campus. The Amateurs is equally as funny but in a uniquely heartwarming sense and the laughs are lined up all throughout the movie.

One thing I’ve learned as a movie lover, if Tim Blake Nelson is in a movie it’s usually worth looking into. 

It's My Party and I'll Die if I Want To (2007) - Movie Review

In the year 1937, Jacob Burkitt went suddenly insane and slaughtered his entire family. Seventy years later, Sara’s friends decide to throw her 18^th birthday party in Burkitt manor, thinking that the legend was in the past. However, the creature haunting the doomed house is very real.

At first glance, I was ready to roll my eyes and laugh myself silly at this movie. Everything from the title, to the digital camera used to shoot the movie; even the cheesy music signaled this flick to be a waste of time. However, within the first five minutes it begins proving me wrong and continues doing so the entire film. The special effects are of great quality, considering that it looks like this could’ve passed for a high school project (the budget was $30,000). The kills are grotesque; the acting is ridiculously good for a bunch of amateurs. Writer/director Tony Wash does a fantastic job of creating something interesting out of practically nothing. He was an attendee of Tom Savini’s FX school and he honed his craft quite well. Tom Savini himself has a cameo in the beginning.

Normally, a movie with the aesthetic value of It’s My Party….is the kind that you watch to laugh at it’s faults. There are few to be found; instead it is an impressive example of low, low, loooow budget movie magic. 

The Amazing Spiderman (2012) - Movie Review

Ten years after Sam Raimi's movie, Sony needed to make another Spiderman film in order to keep the rigths from reverting back completely to Marvel. So, they nabbed current hotshot indy and music video director Marc Webb (500 Days of Summer), set the stage in 2012 unlike Raimi who tried meshing the 60's era Spiderman he grew up with, change the villain, promise an entirely new backstory on his origin (which they don't deliver), and you get - - -

The Same Damn Movie....just slightly more enjoyable. AND - - C. Thomas FRICKIN' Howell!! He's BACK, baby!!

The casting was a giant upgrade, even though Gwen Stacy was about as relevant as Mary Jane in which she was actually irrelevant but it gave us all a reason to stare at Emma Stone, but she went blonde for the role so that killed it for me. Andrew Garfield was a great Peter Parker who is actually the star of the film, Spiderman just beats people up.Tobey Maguire was all wrong from the beginning. It should have been Topher Grace from the beginning. Rhys Ifans as Dr. Curt Connors/The Lizard was wasted. He's a great actor who didn't get to do anything except make way for his CGI alter-ego. Sally Field was Aunt May. She needs her eggs.
Martin Sheen was the biggest elevation of character in casting. Cliff Robertson in Raimi's flick was a sensitive grandfather, Martin Sheen was a proud, stern uncle. Denis Leary played a cop. Big stretch, I know.

They promised an untold origin and that's exactly what you get with this movie, a promise that eventually there will be an untold part of Spiderman's origin revealed, but for now you get about five minutes of new material; other than that, it's the same old story.

The greatest thing about The Amazing Spiderman - - C. Thomas Howell is BACK, baby!!

Screw the trailer, this movie's got enough hype and money.

Amazing Spiderman Can Wait

I have an opportunity to watch Amazing Spiderman this morning, but I'm so sick of origin flicks even if they are great movies. X-Men: First Class is a wonderful film, Matthew Vaughn is one of my must-see directors, but I couldn't finish the bloody thing. I already know where the story is going, I just want to pick up on an adventure and get going already which is why I'm not all that interested in Zack Snyder's upcoming Superman film. Sure, there will be changes, but at the end of the day it's going to be the same hero who has gone through almost half a dozen movie variations with only one memorable battle against a super villain (Superman II).

Amazing Spiderman claims to tell the untold story, yet all of the untold story has been pulled from the movie. Apparently, it has been reserved for the upcoming sequels.Also, I've never been that much of a Spiderman fan.The Sam Raimi trilogy was awful, in my opinion; not just part 3, I thought the whole trilogy stank. Much like the X-Men movies - the first isn't as good as it was twelve years ago, the second one is the second best but still drags; the third - well, Brett Ratner, so there you go - and I explained my thoughts on the prequel above - it's the best but it's redundant. Every super hero origin film is redundant, including Green Lantern; another one I enjoyed but couldn't wait for to put the pedal tot he metal and go on some adventures because we get the same story. A social outcast gains fascinating abilities, they test them out with hilarious folly, one of their closest relationships becomes strained,a villain who also knows our hero well gains their powers through similar if the not the exact same means, only experiencing different results. The hero beats the bad guy and typically gets the girl. The same could be said for action films or horror films, the formula is always the same, but at least those genres offer a tweak in character development a twist in the story - the super hero's are practically interchangeable - slip one into the other movie, you'll still have the same movie; slightly different attitudes, but the same outcome.

Dolph Lundgren's Punisher movie nailed it. Get the story going, one quick flashback for the origin and we're back to killing bad guys. The Avengers was loud and mindless, but it clicked because you were served characters in small increments, the main factor for the Hulk's success in the movie. You were given him in small doses.Batman Begins and Christopher Nolan broke down the entire franchise and the psychology behind the psychopath wearing a giant bat costume which had never been done before.

I have no doubts about the quality of Amazing Spiderman, I'm just not up to unwrapping the same candy I've been eating for twelve years only because it's in a different wrapper.

Sector 7 (2011) - Movie Review

In the ocean south of Jeju Island, The Eclipse oil rig has been given orders to pack up and return home due to lack of progress. One day before they are set to go home, their drilling accidentally stumbles upon a nest of unknown aquatic life. Soon after discovering this new creature The Eclipse loses contact with the mainland and bodies begin disappearing.

You remember that movie about that sea creature that terrorized a bunch of people; the one or the ten that you’ve seen? That is Sector 7. Despite some welcomed subplots director Ji-hun Kym and writer Je-gyun Yun don’t stray far from the formula. Watching the movie in its Korean dialect definitely had a positive influence. I feel like I would be giving an unfair opinion if I’d seen it with subtitles. The movie is well directed; I’d like to say well acted but there’s a language and culture barrier that I can’t decipher, but when it was time to be scared, they looked pretty darn scared. Unfortunately, the creature is CGI and some of the kills that would have been grand as traditional props are watered down because they’re computerized. In fact, the creature felt like it’s true capabilities were limited which is a bummer, but make sense since there’s less than a dozen cast members to potentially kill.

Sector 7 will keep your attention. There are enough subplots surrounding the whole story to keep the viewer busy. There is no mystery about the monster’s appearance, once it’s revealed it’s there to stay, but doesn’t feel like it was fully utilized. The cast had good chemistry, as far as I could tell; I developed a big-time crush on the female lead Ji-won Ha.

There are a lot worse monster flicks out there. While formulaic, Sector 7 keeps the audience interested just enough to either not turn it off, or come back and see what happens.