People continue to use the word "intimidating" in their description of me. "Nice," "kind," "smart" also pop up, but "intimidating?" I don't see it, I don't understand how they do; yet, I 'm not going to change.
I tend to live a solitary life. It's the only life I have ever really known. The day that I was born, I was the only infant birthed that day in that particular hospital. I had the place to myself. I grew up as an only child, and while I may be spoiled in some mental aspects - I can be stubborn when I want to and my well of sympathy is drizzly at best - my grandparents ensured that I was not going to be the brat throwing a tantrum in the middle of the store because mommy wouldn't get me the candy I wanted. They instilled within me a sense of honor and discipline heavily lacking in these last few generations.
After recently partaking in discussions with my circle of close lady friends, they all agreed that I am an intimidating figure; that I'm too smart for my own good, and although currently I'm not at my physical peak due to circumstances beyond my control (a medical procedure coupled with a sparring injury have kept me out of the gym these last two months), I am able to perform a rigorous cardio workout at the local park which I designed myself, incorporating the local structures and landscape, I'm still in above-standard shape.
The one thing that truly bothered me; no, not bothered me - flat out infuriated me - "You're too smart," she said.
Well fuck you too. If I'm "too smart," feel free to be "too smart" with me. The only one running away is you. I'm an easy person to find, but when I choose to disappear you won't even notice my footsteps when I walk behind you. You won't recognize my profile because you never wanted to see me in the first place.
If I'm going to find a woman that I love and respect, they will feel the same way for me either because of or in spite of my intelligence and the eccentricities included with it.
As far as friends go, I have enough friends. I have the greatest friends in the world. I don't need any more friends.
I refuse to lower the standards that I have set for myself. I am willing to experience this planet alone. I go out to restaurants alone. I attend all varieties of junkets alone - museums, concerts, operas, plays, movies, sporting events; I travel alone. Anything that catches my personal interest I usually experience alone. If you are the type of person that cannot, that's fine, I respect that, but I don't sit around waiting for anyone. When I want to do something I go out and I do it.
I will not sink down to their standards, they need to rise up to mine.
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