Saturday, January 07, 2012

Post-Contagion Playground Soliloquy

"Excuse me, are you lost?" I heard a woman’s voice through the light, tattering rain. Her hair was dark with frosted streaks. Staring in between her locks reminded me of being in prison which is where I thought I had been, talking myself to sleep. Instead I was in my old neighborhood, in the middle of our playground that used to be our universe.
"No," I replied, still believing that I was falling asleep in prison, thinking I was dreaming about standing in the midst of a dark gray day in the my dress clothes covered by my black trench coat.

"Did you used to live around here?” Her voice wavered from compassionate to careful. “Have you been gone a while?"

"I have." I looked away from her voice, never wanting to see into her eyes.

I stayed silent until she walked away.

I stared at the spot where my brother and I used to play. The ground was greener now. Before we had green patches spread out amongst regions of dirt. The air was cleaner. I could suck in a stomach's full and not gag from the fumes of incinerated corpses, dead from the Red Devil Virus.

Pregnant women were actually allowed outside again, which was a big surprise to me. I saw one showing off her unborn child through her ultrasound-shirt. I didn't check the display label to see if it was a boy or a girl, I was relieved to see that it didn't have a head and a half, or a third limb shaped like a talon.

Times have changed. The people are nicer, the planet is richer, and I'm still no closer to belonging in it than I was before my incarceration. But my brother and I, we never belonged. We just did enough to make other people think we did, plastering the right smiles at the right times, but we were always different, always would be. We didn’t care about anyone else because in our family’s line of work, you could only trust family. Now, all of my family is gone and there’s nothing left to do but adapt. Luckily, my family’s profession is still a necessity in this new, cleaner world.

Every one with money still wants someone with more money dead. That will never change.

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