Death on the Brain

I think about my death at least twice an hour. How will it happen? I’m not caught up so much as on the when because I could die before finishing this bloody piece. But still – I often think about:


• How will it happen?

• Will it be painful or subtle?

• Will I linger or will it be quick?

And most important of all:

• What song/album will I be listening to when it does finally happen?

I was exiting the expressway one evening on my way home from the university. I crossed the underpass where a truck chose to ignore the Stop sign and nearly plowed into me, but I – an actual driver and not a simple car steering oaf – was able to swerve out of the way and speed my way ahead of the fool.

During the incident I was listening to Our Lady Peace’s album “Healthy in Paranoid Times,” which was already one of my favorite albums from any band. Through the rest of the drive home all I could think about was that if that truck had hit me and I died, I would’ve died listening to this particular album.

That’s fucking awesome.

I think about all of the different forms of suicide I could perform. I have no intentions of killing myself, so I don’t mind thinking about all of the different methods; and, no, I’m not going to describe any of them either because they are all pure genius and reserved only for me or my characters.

Usually, I try to outdo myself with each new deadly episode. I don’t think it really matters how I go, just as long as the music is right.