Machete - Movie Review

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez & Ethan Maniquis

Written by: Robert Rodriguez & Alvaro Rodriguez

When I first watched the fake Grindhouse trailers that Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez presented to us back in 2007 during their Grindhouse resurgence films, the only one that I thought really warranted its own film was Machete, and really it was for a single reason – to finally give Danny Trejo his due.

Here we are.

Machete is an ex-Federale. His family was murdered by one of Mexico’s top kingpins, Torrez (Steven Seagal), because Machete refused to be morally compromised. After being left for dead himself, Machete wound up in South Texas living as an illegal immigrant.

Through coincidence and bad luck Machete is picked up by a man named Booth (Jeff Fahey; Lawnmower Man, Body Parts). Booth tells Machete that he needs to kill Texas Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro). McLaughlin heavily favors strict regulations on immigration, which is what the public knows. What they are unaware of is that McLaughlin also funds a vigilante Minute Man operation that uses extreme force when they feel someone has crossed over illegally.

While Machete does not like the idea of killing anyone, the senator‘s stance on immigration and the amount of money offered to him alleviates most of the weight bearing down on his conscience.

It turns out to be a setup, and Machete is now on the run. His only help comes from ICE agent Sartana (Jessica Alba) and a taco truck vendor named Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who might or might not be the leader of an underground immigrant revolutionary force known as The Network. They are all out to clear Machete’s name and expose Senator MacLaughlin.

Machete is another all-out tribute to Grindhouse cinema. The music is raw, the vibe is trashy; the film is even manipulated to look scratched and gritty. Danny Trejo plays it cool and dangerous. Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez are perfect polar opposites in character, style, and approach. Cheech Marin’s few moments of screen-time are some of his best in quite a while. Lindsay Lohan looks like shit, but she seemed sober enough while filming a role that seemed tailor made for her. It was excellent to see Jeff Fahey back on screen. Don Johnson does too good of a job as a sociopathic, redneck vigilante, and Robert De Niro looked to be having the most fun out of anyone else. He finally acts as a character and not just Robert De Niro with or without an accent. And it’s funny listening to Steven Seagal cuss in Spanish.

The action scenes were well intended but not all of them came off looking good, which might have been intentional because the fight scenes in classic Grindhouse flicks weren’t award worthy pieces of action art either. Also, it doesn’t help that while Danny Trejo is in excellent physical shape he is sixty-six years old; and not Chuck Norris’ or Sylvester Stallone’s type of sixty-six years old. Danny Trejo is a man familiar with alcohol, cigars, and other heavy drug uses from past harder times in his personal life.

The movie also seemed too long for its own good. By the time the climax was finally in sight instead of saying, “cool,” I looked down and whispered a covert “thank you.” I wasn’t too keen on the political agenda in regards to illegal immigration but one also might understand that many of the original Grindhouse films like Combat Shock and Humanoids from the Deep were heavily layered with their own political views against Vietnam and the environment, respectively.

Then, there was the tidal wave of CGI blood. It served its purpose but took something away from my own personal experience. I’m just addicted to my carnal cinema servings of corn syrup, flour, and food coloring. I prefer CGI blood in video games or a very disturbing Pixar film.

Machete is a movie with serious views behind it but is not a movie that takes itself too seriously, which might help or hurt it for different people in the audience. The cast gels easily into Machete’s world, and there is no one else that could pull this role off other than Danny Trejo. Danny Trejo IS Machete.