Hallway Memories

Slithering strands of light protruded through the window. If they didn’t show him the path to exit his room then they would have served no purpose at all.

He leaned over and grabbed the last photograph they had ever taken together. It was a simple picture frame, but the memories inside of it were far more complex and much happier than anything else that had crossed his mind these last few weeks. The morbid scenarios that looped through his mind lately had nothing to do with that photo and had everything to do with finding new ways to stop breathing.

He had no intentions of killing himself. Death was just something he thought about every day, at least once every hour ever since he was a six years old when he saw his mother jump. There were times when the method was something amazing, like being flung wildly through a hurricane as he crash landed to earth strapped to a parachute, but what he focused on was the feeling. He knew that when he died his death would not be painless; it just wasn’t his type of luck and certainly not his style.

Her eyes were the most glamorous things he had ever seen. He missed being able to look into them every day. They were mysterious, gorgeous; they represented everything that he loved about her, and every time she blinked his heart skipped a beat, and now that she was gone his heart stopped beating all together.

He drew back the curtain, turning the illuminating slithers into blinding, enlightening piercings. There was a trail of unwashed dishes leading from his bed where he sat to the hallway where they first made love inside what was then their new house. They had barely handed the check over to the realtor and practically forced her out the door. They would have invited her to join but it had been a long day and neither of them had that kind of energy. It had been a long day, he remembered. Now, everyday was pathetically drawn out between the sunshine and the moon-rise, but he refused to die because he knew that if he died he wouldn’t be able to remember her anymore.