Welcome to My City

Welcome to my city. We embrace you with open arms. Dump on my city, we rip your arms off and feed the rest of you to the wild alligators in Bayview.

Come, stay; enjoy our food. We don't care if you don't like it because we know you're only passing by and are more interested in liquoring up anyway. Just realise that you're inebriated ass may not end up where its supposed to be the next morning, nor might it be in one piece. Our dogs, and insurging coyotes, do love the extra flabby flavor.

Share our kindness. We're not asking you to buy anything. We're just hoping you are a respectable human being that will treat us equally, otherwise, you're name is filed with the rest of the ghosts strolling around because we like spectral energy, the company it keeps, and the power it provides.

Welcome to my city. We will treat you like kings. Fuck with us, and your own mother will question whether you were ever born.

I love my city.

Dear Gawd, Please Let Me Die Like This

Sparks was the co-owner of a multimillion-dollar construction business and in the prime of his life when symptoms of FTD first started appearing. He was initially misdiagnosed -- as many FTD patients are -- as suffering from stress and depression. But his wife Cheryl and college-age children Graham and Alexandra knew something more was wrong when Sparks stopped caring about his health, couldn’t remember the names of the tools of his trade and could no longer read a clock.

Galactic Kidney Stones

The Martian moons Phobos and Deimos have been photographed in the same frame for the first time.

"Misfired Missile" My Ass

Riddle of the Arctic roll solved as Russia admits 'one of our missiles misfired'

Someone's messing with a Large Haldron Collider, tweaking some of Nikola Tesla's handiwork.

Exercising Communicating Appendages

My mum saw the commercial with the mom and daughter communicating over their laptops as the mother shows off Christmas decorations, only to be surprised by the daughter waiting outside, which is pretty damn creepy if you ask me, but - - - whatever.

Me mum saw the commercial and asked, "Would you do that for me?" with my reply being, " The best I can offer you is a lonely Christmas, knowing that you're son is surviving in the real world."

 My mother then flipped me off.

My pillow is stuffed with angel's feathers.

Ladies and Gentleman - "Fistgate II"

Kevin Jennings and his GLSEN organization did nothing to clean up their act. In fact in 2001 activists handed out “fisting kits” to the children and teachers who attended the GLSEN conference.



That’s correct. Fisting kits.

I guess it's better to learn these kinds of things from a loopy government official than you're life-battered uncle who enjoys walking around elementary schools wearing a trenchcoat, knee-high socks, and a liter of lube.

We Want to Know Space - We Don't Know Shit

The biggest black holes in the universe are also the most perplexing. Scientists have long been confused about just how the earliest, most massive black holes formed, but new evidence now suggests they could have originated inside giant cocoon-like stars.

Ladies and Gentleman - FISTGATE

In 2000, Kevin Jennings (now Obama's Safe School Czar) promoted sexually graphic material to 14 year olds. Some acts included fisting, public masturbation, and pedophilic relationships...

GLSEN’s stated mission is to empower gay youth in the schools and to stop harassment by other students. It encourages the formation of Gay Student Alliances and condemns the use of hateful words. GLSEN also strives to influence the educational curriculum to include materials which the group believes will increase tolerance of gay students and decrease bullying. To that end, GLSEN maintains a recommended reading list of books that it claims “furthers our mission to ensure safe schools for all students.” In other words, these are the books that GLSEN’s directors think all kids should be reading: gay kids should read them to raise their self-esteem, and straight kids should read them in order to become more aware and tolerant and stop bullying gay kids. Through GLSEN’s online ordering system, called “GLSEN BookLink,” featured prominently on their Web site, teachers can buy the books to use as required classroom assignments, or students can buy them to read on their own…

We were unprepared for what we encountered. Book after book after book contained stories and anecdotes that weren’t merely X-rated and pornographic, but which featured explicit descriptions of sex acts between pre-schoolers; stories that seemed to promote and recommend child-adult sexual relationships; stories of public masturbation, anal sex in restrooms,....

If it’s all about tolerance, why is the following question necessary?

David LaFontaine, chairman of the Governor’s Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth and the man who is mostly responsible for the Gay Straight Alliances in Massachusetts, tells us, “We believe very strongly that all students should not be sexually active in high school.”

Woman: Question is: What’s fisting?


Man: A little known fact is that you don’t make a fist like this. When they do it, it’s like this. This is a lot easier than this. [laughter]


Woman: You work your way up to it… [unclear] one finger, two fingers, three fingers … Some people can take a hand, or they can’t take a hand.

It’s about tolerance? If Gay Straight Alliances are not about sex, why are the people who run Gay Straight Alliances telling students about fisting? What you did not see is the man leading the discussion positioning his hand and showing 14 year olds how to insert their entire hand into the rectum of their sex partner.

Canine Expenses

Noticing a local commercial for a home healthcare company, and all of their noted p.r. folks have decent-to-pretty faces; all have large breasts, I'm assuming at least two of them are women -- damn, sign up my diabetic Great Uncle who craps himself everytime he believes the 2 dogs outside conspire against him to chew on his leg stump while he sleeps.

Sour Milking

Wow; milk enough cows and you too can own your own Van Gogh.

Italian police said they found 19 masterpieces stashed away by the disgraced founder of the collapsed dairy company Parmalat. Calisto Tanzi had long been alleged to have a "hidden treasure" but denied the charge. Prosecutors are probing the alleged concealing of assets in Parmalat's bankruptcy case. Here, officers carry a Giuseppe De Nittis painting hidden by Tanzi.

Why Suicide is Considered a Recess

Watched the first half of Dan in Real Life, or at least until the part when Juliette Benoche becomes jealous. A beautiful and eloquent human being she be.

Of what I saw, I swear, if it weren't a remake of a foreign film it felt like one.

Of what I saw, the two older daughters were bitchy without regard other than being pre-teen teens ( or whatever evolutionary region being a mutant has reached); the youngen had a case. I'm guessing all the baggage came to a front in the second half.

I did get a kick out of Juliette Benoche's jealousy moment.

Today's Perfect Chill

Today provided the perfect chill - a great brumal, if you will. The rain and drizzle that had plagued the previous gelid days was nowhere to be found; it was pure Northern cold today and I loved every moment of it. My nipples got so hard, I could've killed twenty orphans through their retinas before lunch with them.

Watching my breath becoming mist is like watching a dying smoker embracing every drag after finding out their condition is terminal.

F--K ESPN

I fucking hate ESPN these days. Unfortunately, they're the only relevant sports news station around, and they know it. They have monopolized a hooker's douchebag. They have become the E-Hollyweird of sports news, and if it weren't for Chris Berman, Tom Jackson, and the NFL; I'd've dropped these self-important assholes years ago.

Know When to Shut Up

And that brings me to my currents state of  literature. I've grown tired of adult fiction. It's becoming oversaturated, monstrously detailed, and there's very little fun going on in that part of the literary world these days. In fact, the last three or four novels I have read are all geared supposedly towards a younger audience - The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (excellent), The Witches by Roald Dahl (a childhood delight revisited), Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (who has an exquisite writing voice) - and these writers, these stories know when to let the reader go and use their imagination, rather than bogging down the whole experience with useless details about the jagged edge on a single cloud or what brand and year the murder weapon was when it proves to be insignificant throughout the rest of the adventure.

As a prose writer - no, as a writer, one of the hardest things to learn is to know when to shut up and let the story tell itself, and allow the reader to have some fun.

Currently Reading....

I am currently reading Night by Elie Wiesel. Yes, that little Pulitzer Prize winning number.

I have to admit, I'm slightly burnt out on the holocaust, but a good read is a good read and this is one damn good read. It is based on Wiesel's own experiences as a young man; driven from his home with his family and community, taken to Auschwitz and Buchenwald during WWII. Throughout these horrible occurences, Wiesel lost his faith in both God and mankind.

Originally, Wiesel wrote the book for a more mature audience but later adapted his writings for a wider populace. You'll find Night on many junior high and high schoool reading lists, but it is worthy of anyone's attention.

Italian Man Controls Robotic Hand with His Mind

An Italian who lost his left forearm in a car crash was successfully linked to a robotic hand, allowing him to feel sensations in the artificial limb and control it with his thoughts, scientists said Wednesday.

There's a man in Oregon who is a paraplegic also experiencing neural interface; controlling his television, answering his telephone, commanding his computer, and maneuvering his wheelchair with a microchip implanted in his brain.

The robots will rise, and they will destroy us all by skullfucking the technology out of our cranial orifices.

Pirates Use Stock Exchanges to Fund Hijackings

Somali pirates have created a new exchange in Haradheere, Somalia, to fund their hijackings offshore, Reuters reports. The pirates have made tens of millions of dollars so far, and their stock exchange offers shares for anybody to buy.


"Four months ago, during the monsoon rains, we decided to set up this stock exchange. We started with 15 'maritime companies' and now we are hosting 72. Ten of them have so far been successful at hijacking," said one pirate.

R.I.P. Paul Naschy

Today, Paul Naschy succumbed to his battle wit cancer. If you are a fan of horror, specifically classic Spanish horror films, then you may be familiar with Paul Naschy (perhaps without even knowing it). He portrayed several of the classic beasts including Dracula, The Hunchback, and for over a dozen films - The Wolfman for the Hombre Lobo film series.

He thrived throughout the '60's and '70's, and unlike most American horror regulars, Paul Naschy was actally acclaimed for his acting. The Hombre Lobo films are still some of my favorite werewolf movies; it's a shame to lose another horror legend, but what a wonderful legend he is.