Acquired a new phone today. there are people willing to give me money, and in order for them to obtain me and my head of useless knowledge, and sometimes helpful if only charming anecdotes, there must be a portable voice message system where they can tell the available digital space that they are willing to give me money.
What? Talk to them? You're funny.
While waiting for the silver substance, which honest to god, I've swallowed pills larger than this thing, and probably for less harmful diseases than I'll get because of this phone - but walking in, waiting, one would think I was either buying a plane ticket or some righteously impressive heroine in England. Truly and odd experience on both counts.
My clothes do not match my brain, though they are patterened after my "bomb my house, I don't care" philosophy, which rides parallel with my "speak to me, I obliterate your sanity" ideology. The hostess - there's a bloody hostess for a phone shop - she took one look at me, her eyes said he can't afford us, he shouldn't be here, while my eyes responded with, not today - I know twelve ways to paralyze you, where you are standing, using only the pen in my pocket, and I'm quickly working on number thirteen. Maybe it was my smile that calmed her down.
Everything else went smoothly, though nowadays one cannot get just a phone. It has to be a portable entertainment unit that fits inside your pocket, otherwise the normals in society will label you inhumane; as one fitting to be cast back to the stone age to be sodomized by giant lizards despite giant lizards they are thinking of never existing in the stone age.
But gee my phone is pretty.
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