Monday, August 01, 2005

Forget Birthdays (a 2 minute drill)

I woke up at three a.m. and made myself some coffee. I'd been trying to sleep since eleven, but too many thoughts, and unforgiving ideas stayed my sleep. Awake was all I had known for the past couple of nights, with maybe a few blinks of slumber in between.

When I saw that woman give up her child to the M.D.S. I couldn't help but shake my head. Then, I had to smoke a joint so I could accelerate my thinking, move it beyond what I'd witnessed. But what stuck with me was that I 'd seen it all before, only from a different angle. I remember being handed over by a woman to a frightening being wearing a gas mask and leather gloves. I was so young, though, I thought I was just going to get a thorough bath, not be stuck under inspection lights, be sliced open, and analyzed like a dead cat in a classroom.

I'm still wondering, why every time I light a birthday candle my head aches, my brain boils, and my nose bleeds.

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