Texas Frightmare 2014 - The DRRRTY Tour Edition

The road to Texas Frightmare was a typical sleepless one. It has gone far beyond tradition to either stay awake or embrace the celebratory nectar the night before a DRRRTY Road Tour. Seeing as how our numbers were down to a pair instead of the usual trio or quartet, it was best that since I chose to drove, I stayed away from Satan’s sweet nectar. However, I hoped to catch some type of sleep while our midnight departure loomed in the far horizon of the witching hour.

Destiny was either with us or fate conspired against us. This year’s Frightmare poised to be the most epic one yet with a lineup of horror’s finest set to attend – from artist Ben Templesmith to jack of all trades Tom Savini; from the Soska Sisters (directors of American Mary and the upcoming See No Evil 2) to the godfather of gore himself George Romero.   I was looking forward to seeing Michael Biehn and Doug Bradley (personal favorites) while the shaved ape attending with me, my buddy John, was looking forward most to George Romero. Both of us were just glad to be attending.

A positive premonition preceded us when we found out the hotel we booked was on John Carpenter highway. Nuff said. With each passing day, my anticipation level increased, which is rare. I’m usually calm until actually on the road and I know the trip is indeed happening right before our very eyes, and then my excitement presents itself. Sure enough, fate drilled me in the lower intestine - something I had consumed earlier in the day disagreed with my stomach, and I was splashing to the soggy bottom river dance all day long. I even had to cut my workout short because I feared soiling my warm ups. One wrong twist, one reflexive squat, I would’ve been dripping gravy in front of people that I don’t care to associate with but would have to face another day. 

Back at home, hoping to slumber turned into sleepless annoyance. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep, so I chose to vegetate using the most mind-numbing tool known to man – television.

As luck would have it, one last trip to banish the viral demons from my bowels proved to be the necessary solution. I was finally free of the splashy demons. 

Fast forward to half past midnight – we are finally on the road. I drove the entire way powered by infrequent conversation with both John and the voices, plus the occasional argument with talk radio. My partial album collection I’d uploaded to a pin drive provided our soundtrack.   

We arrived in Dallas safely and in near-record-time shortly before nine a.m. and located our primary destinations, the Aloft hotel and the DFW Airport hotel (the location for the convention), also the nearest liquor store(s). Check-in time at the hotel wasn’t until three p.m., but with the two of us being two of the most languid personas with a love for exploring, and being in a town we rarely visit (Dallas), it became a routine venture of ours that went from “We have all the time in the world,” to “Shit! We need to hurry up and check in to the hotel!” 

Eventually, we arrived at 

Day 1 

Working on the fly, this became our primary business day - get the pictures and autographs we wanted. We obtained our passes and programs, then, shuffled through the crowd. Surrounded by fans in cosplay, and some whom neither John nor I could differentiate from in costume our out of clean laundr – all brilliantly decorated, we our first stop was the Made in Texas room. Admittedly, for a short time I was impounded in awe of the celebrities suddenly around us, but reminding myself these people are human beings cooled my senses. I’ve met several music artists that I greatly admire. This was different. You are meant to mingle with the celebrities at a convention; the others have been by blind luck but just as thrilling. 

Instantly, I spotted Michael Beihn and Linda Hamilton who would be partaking in the Terminator reunion along with Robert Patrick. The Soska sisters were incredibly social, friendly, and very chatty with all of the folks in their line. John got an autographed photo and a personal  one from them. 

John and the Soska sisters

In the Enterprise Room, we both had the pleasure of taking pictures with Tom Savini whom John and I couldn’t believe wasn’t busier. The man is a living legend in the horror business, plus, he was stationed parallel to George Romero. The way they mingled, it was just two friends hanging out.  Savini was quite nice. Doug Bradley was equally nice and extremely eccentric during our brief encounter. He was pure business, didn’t care for chit chat, although he could tell I was sincere in my appreciation of his work. The gem of the night was George Romero. Incredibly friendly and seemed stunned, perhaps quietly overjoyed when explained my admiration for his film Knightriders. People need to learn more of Romero’s non-zombie catalogue. He was a great filmmaker, not just a great horror director.

 

Overwhelmed by the whole experience, I wasn't overly social and felt like I missed opportunities to connect with like-minded people and future networking contacts. There was a serendipitous moment when a woman handed me a business card promoting a horror book publishing company Post Mortem Press. I was fortunate enough to find the majority of the authors intoxicated and devilishly humorous.  I picked up The Barn by Jason Downed, Toxicity by Max Booth III (whom I had a great talk with about character creation), and Camp Arcanum by Josef Matulich.

Full Moon Entertainment had a booth. They were responsible for a large quantity of horror movies I have seen throughout my life, particularly during my adolescence, from Susbspecies to Meridian (a personal favorite) to the Puppet Master series.  It was great experiencing CEO Charles Band’s magic. He knows how to captivate an audience and aided in pioneering the looks and production of horror films. Full Moon now looks to pioneer home entertainment. Mr. Band stated that Full Moon will no longer be making DVDs as it is a waste of money. Instead, they will now offer a streaming service for a monthly fee which will allow you access to their entire movie catalogue – over thirty years’ worth of material – as well as their new movies, free merchandise, and other web based, interactive contributions.  John and I encountered Charles Band after hours at the hotel bar. We shook hands and I made sure to thank him for everything Full Moon has done for the horror industry. 

Then, came the low point of the night; we stayed for the midnight screening of Ben Ketai’s Beneath. Unfortunately, our idled exhaustion finally caught up with us – that compounded with, unfortunately, a lackluster story led us to nod off minimally during the film. It wasn’t a terrible film, just uninteresting; great acting, really good cinematography, but a story that couldn’t hold our attention (and John and I have sat through some boring movies). I don’t doubt, however, that this movie will find an audience that will enjoy it. There’s enough suspense to please a movie enthusiast.

 

                                                                       Day2

Bill Mosley & myself

We showed up later than we had hoped, but fully recharged. We had a good time, I took a picture with Bill Moseley, even chatted with him for a bit about the modern state of killers in horror films; discussing how more actors are restraining instead of cutting loose, using the less-is-more technique, and as Mr. Moseley put it, “some of these new horror movies really suck.”  

We found another horror journalist, Travis Brown from HorrorMoviesUncut.com and drank his kool-aid as we heavily agreed with, frankly, all of his views on horror movies, how to watch them, what to take from them, and what other movie critics forget about their audience - they forget that everyone is different – just because they are not partial to a certain film doesn’t mean you should not recommend it for other people. Also, he discussed an issue I’ve had a strong voice on - about how fans are part of the problem. I don’t mean just in movies, but every form of entertainment (movies to sports and beyond). Hollywood and horror keep churning out remakes and ghost stories  and these spoofs because people keep paying money to see them, and when a horror fan recommends a quality film, the inquisitor has no interest because it doesn’t star anyone familiar or it is the early work of someone that is currently popular. 

It was refreshing to meet people similar and superior to our thought mode. 

Lastly on evening 2, we attended an encore screening of Bill “Bloody Bill” Pon’s first full-length feature Circus of the Dead, a low budget film about murderous clowns hiding in a travelling circus using the Mexican game Chalupa as a platform for singling out victims for nefarious deeds. It was filmed entirely in Odessa, Texas on a pithy $150,000 budget.  Circus of the Dead was well worth standing throughout the entire movie. All the seats were taken. We chose to see what the movie had to offer; it was so good we stayed standing through the whole thing. Look for Bill Oberst Jr. to gain some momentum from his role as the gang leader Papa Corn. His dementia is cold, blunt, and brutal. You can also catch Bill Oberst Jr. in the anthology Scary or Die without the makeup.  The entire film had a classic grindhouse cinema look and energy about it; definitely entertaining. 

 

 

Also, be sure to watch Billy “Bloody Bill” Pon’s original short film Doll Boy, which is the cinematic beginning of what would eventually become Circus of the Dead. 

  Day 3

The last day was the shortest but probably the most illuminating. We circled the vendors and actors one last time awaiting our real venture, the panels. Among the bevy of panels and screenings that entire weekend, we sat in on two that Sunday. The first centered on Ogre of Skinny Puppy and Repo, the Genetic Opera fame. He discussed the rise in popularity of Repo, how it’s gained cult-like status and continues finding new audiences, and how it actually aided Skinny Puppy in finding new audiences as well with more Repo fans showing up to Skinny Puppy concerts. He also discussed different moments in his music career that affected his life and his maturity as a human being on his road to sobriety. It was heartfelt and Ogre came off as a humble, happy individual who was a t peace with his world. He was fan-friendly and provided great insight into his life. As a long-time Skinny Puppy fan, this was an exciting experience.

Killer's Korner (left to right): Dee Snider, Tom Morga, Nick King, Bill Mosley, and Tom Savini

The final event was Dee Snider's Killer's Korner, hosted by Dee Snider from Twisted Sister who wrote and starred in Strangeland and is a man who loves horror. The panel discussed movie killers and their methods; it involved Tom Morga, Bill Mosley, Tom Savini, and Nicholas King.  Tom Morga provided a unique perspective since he is a stuntman who stands in for the actors portraying the killers and victims.  His most well-known contributions are as Michael and Jason in Halloween 4 and Friday the 13^th: A New Beginning, respectively.  Bill Mosley brought the maniacs viewpoint as he is one who has killed and been killed many times. Tom Savini probably offered the best perspective as he has done everything there is to do on a movie set in front and behind the camera. Nicholas King filled a seat.

Subjects ranged from what is their favorite weapon to kill with to how they themselves would prefer to be killed, how the size of a budget effects the movie’s production, and how precise the choreography and effects must be – typically, there is no room for improvisation.  

Mosley & Savini

Some of the funnier moments included Bill Mosley talking about Tobe Hooper making him do thirteen takes on a single kill scene in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986). “I asked Tobe, ‘Am I doin’ somethin’ wrong, Tobe?’ He said ‘No, I’m just havin’ so much fun watchin’ you do it.’”

 

Tom Savini shared the mind bending awkwardness of using a shotgun to blow the head off of a replicated dummy version of himself. 

 

Dee Snider was his loud, unapologetic rock star self, providing his own tales of film making and love for the horror genre while offering great news that he finally won back the rights to Strangeland and is writing the script for the sequel currently titled Strangeland: Disciple. He was an excellent moderator and it was great to see him healthy and as maniacal as ever (being a long-time fan of his music as well). 

I had an amazing time at Texas Frightmare Weekend. John got some great pictures, I got some great pictures with John’s camera while he was asleep – wink, wink. Our plans are already in the making to attend next year. We met some nice people, I wished we’d been more social, but being our first time, I think we did alright. We would like to reach out more to other fans and hear their opinions and stories; hopefully meet more contacts for movie news and screenings as John and I come from Parts Unknown, Texas, where we have no access to these kinds of resources other than social media.

We’d like to thank all the stars for being incredibly friendly; thank you to everyone we met, everyone that sold us liquor, and the Aloft hotel for being ridiculously comfortable; the cow skin on the wall sold the room.  Until next year.....

Breaking Down The Wishmaster Series

The Wishmaster series is a rollercoaster of rule changes and things the audience is asked to forget ever happened.  Of the four films, the first was the only theatrically released one. We meet the Djinn (played by Andrew Divoff), who is banished inside a fire opal and can only be released when someone awakens the Djinn. To awaken it, it seems someone only has to rub it (it’s never specified), however, the “waker” as they are called in the films, is granted three wishes. SURPRISE!...The outcomes of the wishes have morbid effects upon the wishers, and the wisher must make three wishes so the Djinn can unleash his brotherhood upon the Earth. 

There are rules about how the Djinn is allowed to interact with humans in the first film. After the Djinn is awakened, it can grant other people only one wish. The Djinn can also assume their identity in order to persuade the Waker to make their wishes. In Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies, the Djinn collects their souls in exchange for a wish and the Djinn doesn’t have to assume a victim’s identity. He creates his own, which is played by Andrew Divoff.  In parts 3 & 4 he doesn’t need their souls, but as in the first film, he needs either a willing host or a victim to take their identities. Other changes include how the Djinn is defeated. There is no solid method of defeating the Djinn, thus each film develops its own method of resolving the climax. 

 The original film was the only one with Wes Craven’s name with a producer’s credit, and the creator and writer of the first film, Peter Atkins is given writing credit for the rest of the series, but only for creating the characters. The third & fourth films were filmed back-to-back within a weekend break period from one another, both directed by Chris Angel but using different writers.  Jack Sholder wrote and directed the second film; Robert Kurtzman directed the original. 

The first film pays a strong tribute to modern day horror veterans with Tony Todd, Kane Hodder, Robert Englund, and Ted Raimi all having cameos and Angrus Scrimm (the Tall Man from Phantasm) provides a lone voice-over  explaining the origins of the Djinn. 

While none of the four movies are anything amazing, and most people would probably ask for those portions of their lives back, the third is arguably the weakest of them all as the characters and their dialogue are bland. The rest of the films are a slight step above that, but not much. Another shame is that Andrew Divoff portrays the Djinn for only the first two films. His voice work and expressions bring great, distinct characteristics to the creature. John Novak dons the role for the third and fourth films. He’s not a terrible actor, but this isn’t Shakespeare, which he would probably perform with great zest. 

The true stars of all four films are the visual effects crew. The first film used the K.N.B. Effects Crew. The rest of the films used independents, but all of them did a great job with the atmosphere surrounding the Djinn’s prison inside the fire opal as well as the gore and DJinn’s healing wounds. The majority of them were practical studio effects and quite impressive. A personal favorite was from Evil Never Dies when a prisoner wanted to “walk through the bars” of his jail cell.

The Wishmaster series could easily be rebooted/reimagined/refried with all of today’s remake-madness. It could work easily as either an anthology series or something along the lines of Final Destination, for it doesn’t seem the Djinn can be destroyed only contained, thus its evil is eternal.

Love Handle

An irritating sensation drilled its across his scalp in a crooked, winding road. He raked his fingernails along the annoyed flesh. He pressed harder, overjoyed with temporary relief. Lost in elation, he never  felt his nails sinking deeper into his head until they sunk deeply into his head and protruded through his eyes and mouth; a bloodied waterfall spewing from every pore until the top half of his head fell to the floor and his lifeless husk collapsed into a gory splatter.

The Houston Texans' Conundrum

Regardless of whom the Houston Texans pick, should they choose to hold on to the number one draft pick, they will be universally ridiculed for making the wrong decision - a familiar position for the team as they found themselves in the same situation in 2006 when running back Reggie Bush was the top prospect coming out of that draft. The galaxy’s minions were sure that the Texans would pick him, but they swerved everyone when they went after defensive end Mario Williams. Luckily, Mario Williams actually delivered with his exceptional skills…..for a while. He's currently enjoying a huge paycheck and a positive resurgence in Buffalo after a steady decline these past couple of years.

Yet, considering the injury plagued, nomadic career path of Reggie Bush, upon reflection the Texans were damned if they did and damned if they didn’t – the exact same dilemma they face now. If they pick Johnny Manziel, they’ll be criticized for choosing to sell seats and jerseys instead of wanting to win games as Manziel’s durability is the biggest concern. He’s a tiny guy who loves to spread the play out, but one certain guarantee is that Johnny Football has never been hit  as maliciously as he will be when he enters the NFL.

If the Texans pick Jadeveon Clowney, the Texans will be called fools because they essentially have good pieces on defense. Their quarterback situation , on the surface, appears to be their biggest dilemma, just as Clowney’s work ethic has once again cemented itself as his biggest red flag – but just imagine a driven Clowney teaming up with the freak of nature J.J. Watt? That’s doomsday in helmets and pads right there.

Teddy Bridgewater  is being praised as the most NFL-ready quarterback; personally speaking, Blake Bortles could prove to be a happy surprise in a quarterback draft class that has failed to impress the powers that be. All of the standouts thus far at this year’s NFL Combine have been linemen, linebackers, and one wide receiver.

If the Texans choose to trade the number one draft pick away, they’ll still be called fools because they missed someone who impressed somebody while wearing shorts and Under Armor gear instead of getting down and dirty in a real game.

It’s going to be a turbulent time for the Houston Texans come draft day, but no matter whom they pick or if they trade the pick away, it’s a mere stepping stone for erasing the humiliating two and fourteen season they had a year ago when they were Super Bowl favorites. The way I see it, that was embarrassing enough. Whatever they choose to do when draft selection time rolls around can’t make that any worse.

Right?

Uncovering Coffin Joe

The Coffin Joe movie series is online. Despite the oppressively nominal budgets and zany, head-turning dialogue, these films are true madness.

Brazilian director, actor, and screenwriter Jose Mojica Marins created the Coffin Joe character and introduced him back in 1963 in the film At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul.  Coffin Joe is a narcissistic, blood lusting undertaker who is determined to protect his bloodline by finding the “perfect woman” and believes that any person allowing their superstitions to undermine success are weak and unworthy of living. While there is an official Coffin Joe Trilogy, the character also appeared in other horror films directed by Marins but as an archetype of hallucinations and evil rather than an actual cast member.

Notable for his black top hat, black cape, and grotesque elongated fingernails (which Marins maintains in real life), Coffin Joe enjoyed native success in Brazil appearing in music, comic books, and television; and enjoys a rowdy cult following in the United States.  Marins recently appeared as a guest at the 2013 inaugural Housecore Horror Festival in Austin, Tx. where there was a screening of At Midnight…. and a Q&A session with the filmmaker.

For someone unfamiliar with Coffin Joe, curiosity is the best reason to watch these movies. They do suffer from low budgets and Marins’ trial by fire approach towards directing, but they are a visual treat that I recommend.

 

Unfulfilled Sickness

On the verge of fulfilled sickness; it started with a scratchy throat a couple of days ago. I was unsure about continuing with my workouts as they are often intense and drug-blazed satisfying. However, I’d taken the previous week completely off from the gym and any workouts because my body was finally collapsing under the endless strain I had been barraging it with for over seven months without any real resting period. Plus, strenuous activity such as working out deplete your immune system while operating, but your immune system grows stronger during recovery. I was at a medical crossroads.

The second day of unfulfilled sickness provided a slightly accentuated scratchy throat, like a cat’s tongue. Both days I couldn’t decipher if the coughing was caused by unfulfilled sickness or my current blood pressure medication of which coughing is a known side effect. The delusional mental states and the endless erection are purely me.  My head was weary but I had yet to encounter any nasal problems – no dripping, no sneezing.  Another workout completed the active portions of my evening.

Flash forward three days – I’m supposed to be at an island on vacation. I defy unfulfilled sickness. I refuse the ascension of unfulfilled sickness.

I made the doctor’s appointment earlier today; an episode unto itself.

The nurse-receptionist: I have Robert available at two. How does that sound?

When I made the phone call, I wasn’t upset, but hearing the maximum casualness in her voice, calling this hopeful professional whom I’m entrusting with a short sampling with the well-being of my life by his first name like she’d just removed her wet undergarments from drying out of his microwave – it rubbed me the wrong way. Was Robert the janitor going to treat me? Robert the laundry truck driver?

My reply: Robert better have Dr. in front of his name. If so, two o’clock would be fine.

Unfulfilled sickness be damned.

Fans Killed the Fun

No one has aided pop culture more than the fans and no one has ruined the fun of pop culture more than the fans. The proof comes from years of beaten up, retconned timelines in comic books and recast, rehashed characters in television and movies. Everyone needs to accept part of the blame, if there is even blame to go around; the distributors, the movie studios, the major companies that own these franchises, but the ones that don’t want to own up to their fair share (a large majority in fact) is the fans.
It’s their whining and crying that led to the demise of the pop in pop culture, especially once the internet became universally available.  Everyone became an unpaid critic and most of the opinions expressed thoughtlessly, instantly; usually uninformed but always were worth every cent they were paid, which is none for those that got lost.

Fans cried for better comic book movies, they’ve gotten some of the best to date with The Avengers and Nolan’s Batman trilogy. Now, the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman has caused the smugness of fans to choke the life out of those of us that still enjoy pop culture but haven’t been able to have as much fun anymore because there’s no one to have a jubilant conversation or a level headed debate with any longer. If you have your own opinion, according to a “true fan,” if don’t agree with them – you’re wrong. Sound that out – Your OPINION is wrong. That has to be the most overly expressed, dimwitted response throughout the internet’s existence.
For the majority of you “true fans,”Man of Steel 2 is going to suck because they have already made up their minds that it is going to in fact suck. They have already decided that Ben Affleck is horrible casting as Batman and that Zack Snyder seeking a conference with Frank Miller is the biggest mistake in the history of DC Comics’ movies. The biggest mistake in DC Comics was selling to Warner Brothers and making products before making good stories; same goes for Marvel when they sold to Disney, but that’s actually nothing new. They’ve just recycled an old business practice only on a higher level. That was how DC and Marvel treated their characters in decades past, only they didn’t have the major financial backing of entertainment heavyweights such as Disney and Warner Bros. to bail them out if a financial rut if ever necessary. Remember, Marvel twice filed for bankruptcy. Of course, that means Superman is Warner Bros. bitch. Captain America is Mickey Mouse’s bitch. Remember that.

Musical followers decry their favorite artist’s integrity because of a change in the core of their sound. God forbid these musicians be actual musicians and explore the unlimited spectrum that music offers. Even when a member does a side project that sounds radically different from their norm and warns the fans about the side project not being for them, fans of the musician’s regular band will still piss and moan about the side project sounding nothing like the typical stuff.

When Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan declined dozens of millions of dollars to return to the Bat-franchise “fans” called them greedy. None of them care to think that as artists they are truly done with that part of their life and want to move on and explore other avenues of their craft to which they have only a limited amount of time, considering the types of roles they want to play and the amount of time from their lives as human beings it takes to make these movies. Nolan and Bale don’t want,  definitely don’t need the extra cash that fans gripe about other artists being overpaid for in other medias. Superman 3 and Superman 4 were paydays for Christopher Reeve. He loved the character, but he also loved his comfortable lifestyle that he attained mostly through his connection to Superman. Look how that turned out.

Boycotting a project doesn’t work either. Yes, people, your money makes studios and artists listen, but for every one that will actually live up to their word and not see a movie or hear an album, the rest of the drones that reflected the statement either buy into it anyway or download it and experience it in hiding, then, share with the world on the internet their opinion of the project, usually admitting that they obtained the project illegally – idiots – and despite their lack of dollars at the cash register, thousands or millions of other people do plunk their cash down for these products making the boycott a personal victory or the façade of one.

Ben Affleck loves Batman. I believe he will do a great job. Mostly, I love the decision of Ben Affleck as Batman because it’s pissing all of you off. Suck it. Reap it. Own it. It’s your damn fault anyway.  The only way I could be happier is if Warner Bros. fires Zack Snyder and hires Affleck to star and direct the damn movie. The fanboy-shitstorm would be epic and I'd love every moment.